Monthly Archives: December 2018

Open Letter To My Beau

Dear Zaine,

First off thank you for always keeping the toilet seat down. As a young girl I don’t think I ever dreamed much about marrying prince charming because I didn’t think that I would ever get married. My amazing husband, you are the man that decided to marry my crazy ass. I believe you have chosen well, not to toot my own horn. I love your scent of coffee, bacon, and burnt down houses when you come home from your shifts at the fire station. Your smile makes me smile. I also have to add that your constant comments about my ass is very motivating and your booty rubs are romantic. You are a real life super hero to me and you rarely ask for anything in return. You don’t complain (a lot lol) when you come home to a wrecked house or when I rant about having a bad day with the kids, and the days you have to deal with me and my issues. Instead, you take care of me and help me gather up my sanity and hold me together. Even after all these years of us being together, you continue to amaze me with your sense of humor, kindness, generosity, and love for me. You didn’t know this because you were unconscious, but when I had to sleep downstairs after the c-section, I watched you sleep and I told you how much I loved you. You slept on the floor next to me, while I slept on the couch. You never once complained or left me hanging. 20181027_121839

I watched you sleep like the creep that I am because sometimes I can’t believe that you are mine. I know my anxiety and depression causes me to think about the sadness we have shared sometimes, but I want to say thank you for continuing to fight with me and for me. Thank you for all of the kind things you have said and done to show me how much you love me and care about me. I can’t help but to feel special and consider myself lucky to have you in my life. I am lucky to have the world’s best guy as my best friend and husband. I love you so much and that will never change no matter how much you annoy me at times 🙂 20180811_221207

I appreciate everything about us being together. I cherish all the good times we have had and bad times where we had to be there for each other. The times when we have struggled and the times where we had to learn how to understand and love each other. Our relationship has become stronger than what we could have ever imagined. With each passing year, I have realized how much I have loved you and wanted you. You are truly my best friend and love of my life. You are my past, present and future. You are my hope, my indulgence, and my strength. You have also given me precious gifts that money can’t buy. These 7 gifts will always be treasured in my heart and memories which will always live within my soul. I love watching you be a father to our children and had plenty of fun making them (haha).  When I see you being a father, it makes me fall in love with you all over again. 20180625_214700

Thank you for always being there for me and listening to me even when I talk nonsense and rant. Thank you for encouraging me when I doubted myself and felt like giving up. Thank you for being my biggest supporter and cheerleader in every way. Thank you for joining the Army for the sake of fighting for our country and providing for our family. Thank you for working so very hard being a Firefighter/EMT to give us a comfortable life; even though it comes with the price of you missing holidays, special occasions, and milestones. You are one of the hardest working men that I know and I am so proud of you. You have worked diligently these past few years to obtain your engineering degree to give us a even better life and you are almost at the finish line! Resized_20181214_102041_85

I just want you to know that I see how hard you are working. I notice all of your efforts and it means the world to me. You mean the world to me.

Happy 32nd Birthday Babe!

Until next time,Breyona

Salt Life: The Glow Up

Those who know me, know that I can be very analytical, caring, and pretty structured all while being unstable (ha-ha). I am opinionated, strong willed, and compassionate. I do lose my shxt sometimes like most human beings, but usually I have it all together. I make sure my kid’s needs are met and they are happy. My marriage is thriving and so am I.  I don’t neglect myself for the sake of my family. Sorry not sorry. Every year, usually towards the end of the year I make a real talk post. This year has been pretty interesting on the social front I must admit. I am glad that this year has flown by and it is almost over. Every year I summarize my year using one word. This year’s word is covetous. 42b980fe8f19f6656e92370795e61766

One thing I learned early on in life is to never be envious or jealous of what other people have. You never know what they went through to obtain what they have or struggles they went through to reach whatever point they are at in their life. I never really thought about it much until recently, that some people are just…well miserable. Miserable people desire everyone else to be miserable as well. Misery truly loves company. So many people don’t believe in real meaningful and healthy relationships because theirs aint shit…yes I said aint. People want others to suffer because they are suffering. People don’t want you to have what they don’t have. People want others to be unhappy because they aren’t happy. The list goes on and on. Then you have those who are too busy focusing on what the next person has or lacks instead of focusing on how they can better their own personal situation. Stop trying to be like everyone else. Stop trying to have what other people have. Be yourself! At some point you have to be content with your life and your possessions and when you reach that point, you won’t even have time to focus on what the next person is doing.

“A Glowing Woman Can Help Other Women Glow And Still Be Lit”

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Chances are, other people are not paying you any attention anyway. People go out of their way to impress those who don’t matter. Friendships should never be competitive. If you find yourself in that type of relationship, first check yourself. Stop trying to force friendships and relationships. People usually show you their true side once….believe them and leave that shxt alone. If you don’t find yourself getting excited when your friends and associates get good news, share a win in life etc then you need to exit to the left because you don’t have that person’s best interest. I have noticed that mainly other females have this invisible competitive side where they think they have to do things a certain way or one up the next woman. Girl, stop your shxt and live your life. Do you think people who truly live their best life worry about other people? No. They do their best and do their own thing to their own beat. They don’t look at how other people are dancing and copy the dance moves.553718c969b6583d782debc5d2fc3056I don’t understand why it is such a bad thing to be a likable person? I have had several people make remarks about the vibes I give off and how people gravitate towards me naturally. I don’t think I am a very friendly person to be honest with y’all. However, I am always down for meeting new people, networking etc. I just like being around good people. It bothers folks. Don’t be bothered by the amount of love a person receives especially if you aren’t willing to give them that type of love. But, you can’t be upset when they get it from other people. We all have something different to offer. I truly believe in people being in your life for a reason or seasons. Don’t try to hang on to negative people because of quantity. Focus on quality. Quality friends and associates over an abundance of friends and associates.

Life has been so funny lately. We have had our fair share of monkey wrenches thrown into our lives, but we have consistently made it. I don’t get down with wishing bad on people. That is karma’s job. You don’t get ahead in life being ugly to people. You don’t receive favor in life being hateful. You don’t get ahead in life being covetous. Don’t focus on how green the grass is on the other side, focus on what kind of shxt you are using to fertilize your grass. Love yourself girl. Love the people in your life. Self love is the best love. You don’t find self love by looking at how pretty, fit, rich, poor, fat, skinny, happy, depressed, or educated someone else is. You don’t find self love being bitter because someone else is winning. You don’t find self love copying others either. Be yourself. I am sure someone loves you the way you are.  frogs-1176219_960_720They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. This is complete bullshxt. Stop telling people this shxt. It isn’t. This is why people think it is okay to be something they aren’t. Jealousy in females comes from comparison, competition and the fear of losing things. This can be mates, friends, and possessions. Women tend to be more jealous than men in a large range of situations, and seem to suffer more from emotional jealousy. Other females are also more likely to feel jealous when another woman is attractive. This can be personality wise and physically. Science has proven that women feel threatened by other women who they think look better than them etc. Don’t compare yourself to another woman. Low self esteem is a bxtch. If it is eating you up that bad do something about it. Change your appearance. Put in effort and boost your confidence hun. There is nothing wrong with wearing make-up, not wearing make-up, keeping your hair done, keeping your hair in a messy bun. Do you boo. We are all beautiful in our own way. If you don’t care about your appearance, that is your business. You may just like looking like a sack of shxt. I have my days where I do. But it is not fair to treat another woman like shxt or make snide remarks because she gives a damn.

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Mommies are fickle creatures. It seems to be trendy to be a jealous mommy. Stop being covetous of your mom friends and other females in general and realize that the problem is yourself not them. Stop focusing on how other people keep their shxt. Jealousy can ruin friendships. I have seen it happen and have had it happen. Being covetous is a bad combination of rage, possessiveness, distrust, and insecurity.  If you find yourself feeling covetous, use your feelings to help you understand yourself and where you would like to improve your own shxt.

Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy

Until next time,Breyona