40 Things motherhood has taught me

  1. Love is unconditional, and it’s amazing how much love you can feel for your child.
  2. You can survive on less sleep than you ever thought possible.
  3. Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another.
  4. Patience is a must-have skill when raising children.
  5. Children have a unique way of teaching us to see the world through their eyes.
  6. Time and stress management becomes a crucial skill to learn and master.
  7. It’s important to find a balance between being a mom and taking care of your own needs.
  8. A child’s laughter can be the best medicine when you’re having a tough day.
  9. The milestones your child reaches, no matter how small, are incredibly rewarding and fulfilling.
  10. Moms often learn to be more selfless and prioritize their child’s needs above their own.
  11. You become an expert in multitasking and juggling multiple responsibilities.
  12. Motherhood teaches you to be more flexible and adaptable.
  13. Kids have a way of keeping you humble and grounded.
  14. You learn to appreciate the little moments and cherish time spent with your child.
  15. Being a mom can be challenging, but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.
  16. How to remove virtually any stain and if I can’t throw that shit in the trash.
  17. Do not open lost sippy cups when they are found.
  18. Kids will make you cry happy and not-so-happy tears.
  19. You cannot avoid their germs.
  20. Puberty tests everyone’s gangsta in the house.
  21. Just let them put the goddamn ketchup on everything if that means they will eat.
  22. Hygiene will be an ongoing battle even when they are able to wipe their own ass.
  23. There is no such thing as personal space.
  24. You kinda get used to not pooping alone.
  25. Speaking of poop, when you are a mom, shit becomes one of your main concerns. (has my child taken a shit lately? is that shit!? It smells like shit in here!
  26. Even though you try not to, you will neglect yourself and your spouse from time to time.
  27. Food is expensive
  28. Some days I absolutely don’t like being a mom (some may admit this and some won’t but I do).
  29. Cereal is dinner
  30. I am not a Pinterest mom
  31. Over-the-top birthday parties are pointless when they are little and they don’t give a shit.
  32. I am stronger than I thought I was.
  33. Screen time isn’t always a bad thing and allows me to get shit done.
  34. I know the sounds of my kids crying. Yes, all 7. I know their individual cries and what they mean.
  35. If you don’t want to know the truth, don’t ask a kid.
  36. Kids breath stinks.
  37. Utensils will start to disappear and when they do always check the trash can.
  38. Watching my children hit milestones makes my heart happy and sad at the same time because that means they are growing up and need me less.
  39. When they tell you something you already know pretend it is your first time hearing it.
  40. Kids think you are the most beautiful person in the world until you show them otherwise

Happy Mother’s Day 🙂


Don’t date someone with bipolar disorder they said…

Don’t date someone with bipolar disorder…I see it all the time online. But why not? Not all of us are terrible to be around but it can be difficult dating someone who has bipolar disorder; especially when you do not understand the disorder. Yes, it is a severe mental condition (I do not like to use mentally ill) but it is totally possible to live a fulfilling and functional life and have healthy relationships. Will it be easy? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive disorder, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that can interfere with an individual’s daily life. These mood swings can range from intense feelings of elation or mania to episodes of depression and hopelessness.

There are two main types of bipolar disorder:

  1. Bipolar I disorder: In this type, the person experiences at least one manic episode, which is characterized by elevated or irritable mood, increased energy, decreased need for sleep, and possibly, psychotic symptoms. The person may also experience depressive episodes.
  2. Bipolar II disorder: In this type, the person experiences at least one depressive episode and one hypomanic episode, which is similar to a manic episode but less severe.

It’s important to note that bipolar disorder affects individuals differently, and it is not a one-size-fits-all situation. People with bipolar disorder can have stable and fulfilling relationships with partners who are supportive and understanding. However, bipolar disorder can present unique challenges in a relationship that can be difficult for some people to manage.

Managing bipolar disorder typically requires ongoing treatment and medication, and the individual may need to make certain lifestyle adjustments to manage their condition effectively. The person may also require additional emotional support and understanding from their partner during particularly challenging times.

Ultimately, the decision to date someone with bipolar disorder should be based on your own comfort level and ability to support the person through their ups and downs. If you feel that you are not equipped to provide the necessary support or that the relationship is negatively impacting your own mental health, it may be best to seek guidance from a mental health professional or just end the relationship.

Dating someone with bipolar disorder can suck let’s keep it real, but it’s also possible to have a happy and healthy relationship. It took me a while to figure out what was wrong with me and how to fix it. I do still have my moments but

Here are some tips when you are on the other side of the battle:

  1. Educate yourself about bipolar disorder: Learn as much as you can about the disorder, its symptoms, and how it affects your partner. This will help you understand their behavior and offer support.
  2. Communicate openly: Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important when one partner has bipolar disorder. Encourage your partner to share their feelings with you, and be open and honest about your own.
  3. Be patient: Living with bipolar disorder can be a rollercoaster ride, with highs and lows that can be unpredictable. Be patient with your partner and understand that they may need extra support during difficult times.
  4. Encourage treatment: Encourage your partner to seek treatment, such as therapy and medication. Be supportive and attend appointments with them if they ask you to.
  5. Take care of yourself: It’s important to take care of yourself as well as your partner. Make time for self-care activities and hobbies that help you relax and recharge.
  6. Have a plan: Work together to create a plan for how to handle bipolar episodes. This could include strategies for managing symptoms, identifying triggers, and seeking help when needed.

Here are some things that people may not know about bipolar disorder:

  1. It’s more than just mood swings: Bipolar disorder is not just a case of feeling happy one minute and sad the next. It is a complex mental health condition that affects a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
  2. There are different types: There are several types of bipolar disorder, including bipolar I, bipolar II, and cyclothymic disorder. Each type has different symptoms and severity levels.
  3. It’s not just caused by external factors: While external factors like stress and trauma can trigger bipolar episodes, bipolar disorder is a complex condition that is influenced by genetic and neurochemical factors as well.
  4. It can be treated: While there is no cure for bipolar disorder, it can be effectively managed with a combination of medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes. With the right treatment, many people with bipolar disorder are able to lead full and productive lives.
  5. It affects everyone differently: Bipolar disorder affects each person differently. Some people experience more manic episodes, while others experience more depressive episodes. Some people experience both at the same time, while others experience periods of stability in between episodes.
  6. It can be stigmatized: Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding bipolar disorder and mental illness in general. This can make it difficult for people with bipolar disorder to seek help and get the support they need.
  7. It’s not a personal weakness: Bipolar disorder is not a personal weakness or character flaw. It is a medical condition that requires treatment and support.

It’s important to educate yourself about bipolar disorder and other mental health conditions in order to reduce stigma and support those who are affected. It’s more important to remember that individuals with mental illnesses are just that – individuals, and they should not be defined solely by their condition.

The Recipe for growth and love

Marriage is a union between two people that requires effort and commitment to maintaining. A healthy marriage is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. Maintaining a healthy marriage requires work from both partners, and it is essential to make an effort to keep the marriage strong and thriving. I will discuss some strategies that you can use to maintain a healthy and long-lasting marriage that have worked for me.

Communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage. Good communication means being able to express yourself honestly and listening to your partner. When couples communicate effectively, they are better able to understand each other’s needs and concerns. They can discuss problems openly and find solutions together. Couples should make time to talk with each other regularly, share their feelings and thoughts, and listen to each other without judgment. They should avoid blaming or criticizing each other and instead focus on finding ways to work together to address issues. Easier said than done.

Trust is another crucial element of a healthy marriage. Trust is built over time and is essential for a successful relationship. Couples should be honest with each other and keep their promises. Trusting each other means being able to rely on each other and having confidence in each other’s decisions. Couples should make an effort to keep their commitments and avoid breaking their partner’s trust. If trust has been broken, try to work together to repair it by being honest, taking responsibility for your actions, and making amends. This goes sideways for a lot of people because if you choose to forgive you have to FORGIVE AND FORGET. That means do not bring it up during arguments etc. It is not fair that the trust was broken but it is not fair to say that you forgive someone then continuously beat them down every chance you get over a mistake that was made. This hinders the healing process reliving the trauma over and over again.

Respect is also vital in a healthy marriage. Couples should treat each other with kindness, consideration, and respect. They should avoid criticizing, belittling, or insulting each other. Couples should value each other’s opinions and show appreciation for each other’s contributions to the relationship. It is not a dick measuring contest. By respecting each other, you can build a strong foundation for their marriage.

Another essential factor in maintaining a healthy marriage is intimacy. Physical intimacy is an important part of a romantic relationship, and couples should make an effort to keep their relationship intimate. This is not just about sex. You should make time for each other, be affectionate, and show your love through physical touch. This can be hugging, holding hands, pats on the booty, a hand on the shoulder…..Couples should also be open to exploring each other’s desires and preferences to enhance their intimacy within respectable boundaries.

Finally, couples should make time for each other and prioritize their relationship. With busy schedules, kids, and other commitments, it can be easy for couples to neglect their relationship. Couples should make an effort to spend quality time together, put each other first, engage in activities that they enjoy, and create new shared experiences. They should also take care of their own emotional and physical well-being, which can contribute to a healthier relationship.

In conclusion, maintaining a healthy marriage requires effort and commitment from both partners. Communication, trust, respect, intimacy, and prioritization are crucial elements of a successful relationship. By making an effort to build these elements into your relationship, you can strengthen your bond and create a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage.

diary of black woman in the tech industry

Being a minority woman working in technology can be challenging, but it is also an opportunity to make a significant impact and break down barriers. As a minority woman, one faces unique challenges and experiences that can be different from those of other individuals in the field. I will discuss some of the challenges and opportunities that I, as a minority woman, have faced while working in the technology industry.

One of the primary challenges faced by minority women in technology is the lack of representation. Minority women are underrepresented in the industry, which can make it difficult to find role models and mentors who share their experiences. This lack of representation can also contribute to feelings of isolation and exclusion.

Another challenge for minority women in technology is the impact of bias and discrimination. The technology industry has been known to be plagued with gender and racial bias, which can create a hostile work environment for minority women. They may experience microaggressions, subtle or overt discrimination, and barriers to advancement. These experiences can have a significant impact on their career growth and personal well-being.

However, there are also opportunities for minority women in technology to make a significant impact. By bringing diverse perspectives and experiences to the industry, they can contribute to innovation and create more inclusive products and services. Minority women can also serve as role models and mentors for other women and underrepresented groups, inspiring them to pursue careers in technology.

As a minority woman working in technology, I have had both positive and negative experiences. While I have faced challenges, I have also had the opportunity to work on exciting projects and make an impact in the industry. I have also found support from other women and underrepresented groups in the industry, who have provided mentorship and encouragement.

Being a minority woman working in technology presents unique challenges and opportunities. The lack of representation and the impact of bias and discrimination can be difficult to navigate, but by bringing diverse perspectives to the industry, minority women can make a significant impact. It is essential to continue to support and encourage women and underrepresented groups in technology to create a more inclusive and innovative industry. By working together, we can break down barriers and create a more equitable future for all.

In the past few decades, the technology industry has become one of the most influential industries in the world. While there has been progress in increasing the number of women in technology, it is still a male-dominated field. However, women are making strides in the industry, and their contributions are essential for innovation and growth.

One of the significant challenges for women working in technology is the gender gap in the industry. According to recent studies, women only represent about 24% of the technology workforce. This gender gap is even more significant at the executive level, where women hold only about 11% of leadership positions. This gap can make it difficult for women to advance in their careers, as they may face bias and discrimination.

Another challenge for women in technology is the lack of representation and visibility. Women are underrepresented in media coverage and in leadership positions, which can contribute to a lack of visibility and recognition for their contributions. This can make it challenging for women to receive the recognition and support they deserve for their work.

Despite these challenges, women are making significant contributions to the technology industry. Women bring diverse perspectives and unique skills to the industry, and their participation is essential for innovation and growth. Women are also starting their own businesses and companies, which can provide opportunities for other women to enter the industry and advance their careers.

There are also opportunities for women to receive support and mentorship in the technology industry. Many organizations and initiatives have been created to support and encourage women in technology. These organizations provide mentorship, training, and networking opportunities, which can help women advance in their careers and overcome the challenges they face.

In conclusion, women working in technology face challenges, but they are making significant contributions to the industry. The gender gap and lack of visibility are significant challenges, but there are opportunities for women to receive support and mentorship. The technology industry must continue to work towards creating a more inclusive and diverse workforce to fully realize its potential. By supporting and encouraging women in technology, we can create a more equitable and innovative industry.

The Importance of Maternal Mental Health

Motherhood is often portrayed as a time of joy and fulfillment, but the reality is that it can be a challenging, stressful, and sometimes traumatic experience. One of the biggest challenges that mothers face is maintaining good mental health. In this blog post, I will discuss the importance of maternal mental health, the common mental health issues that mothers face, and strategies for promoting good mental health during and after pregnancy.

Maternal mental health is critical for the well-being of both the mother and her child. Research has shown that maternal depression and anxiety can have negative effects on child development, including cognitive, social, and emotional outcomes. Mothers who struggle with mental health issues may have difficulty bonding with their children, providing adequate care, and responding to their children’s needs. Additionally, maternal mental health can have a significant impact on the physical health of both mother and child, as stress and anxiety can lead to a host of physical health problems.

Common Mental Health Issues in Mothers

Depression and anxiety are the most common mental health issues that mothers face. Postpartum depression affects up to 20% of new mothers, and symptoms can include feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and guilt, as well as difficulty sleeping, eating, and caring for the baby. Postpartum anxiety is also common and can manifest as excessive worry, panic attacks, and obsessive-compulsive behaviors. If you experienced anxiety in depression before pregnancy, you are at risk of developing postpartum depression or worsening existing mental disorders.

Other mental health issues that mothers may face include bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and eating disorders. It is essential to recognize that mental health issues can occur at any point during motherhood, from pregnancy to the postpartum period and beyond. Personally, I have experienced postpartum depression but also I had been previously diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD before having children.

Strategies that worked for me in promoting better maternal mental health

There are several strategies that moms can use to promote good mental health during and after pregnancy. These include:

  1. Seeking support: One of the most important things that moms can do is to seek support from family, friends, and healthcare providers. Joining a support group or talking to a therapist can also be helpful.
  2. Practicing self-care: Mothers should prioritize self-care activities, such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep. It is also important to set aside time for hobbies and other activities that bring joy and relaxation. Self-care isn’t always bath salts and pedicures.
  3. Managing stress: Stress management techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, and yoga, can be helpful in reducing stress and promoting relaxation.
  4. Building a support network: Moms should work to build a support network of other mothers, as well as friends and family members who can offer practical and emotional support. There needs to be boundaries and confidentiality. Be mindful of who you confide in.
  5. Knowing when to seek professional help: It is important to seek professional help if symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues persist or interfere with daily life or if you begin to have thoughts of hurting yourself or others. If you are prescribed meds, take the damn meds and fuck what other people think about it.

In conclusion, maternal mental health is essential and moms should prioritize self-care, seek support from healthcare providers and loved ones, and know when to seek professional help if needed. I know what it is like to not have support, and also what it is like to have amazing support. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Just know that by taking steps to promote good mental health, you can better enjoy the joys of motherhood and provide your child(ren) with the care and support they need to thrive and that in itself is something to be proud of on top of putting yourself first.

I am rooting for ya mama!

Setting up a home office

A Step-by-Step Guide that will have you ready for your first day in no time!

Working from home has become increasingly popular in recent years thanks to Covid destroying everything in its’ path. Today in 2023 more and more companies offer their employees the flexibility to work from anywhere. Some companies however have forced their employees to return back to the office. If you’re one of the many people who are now working from home or interested in working from home, you’ll need to set up a dedicated workspace in your home. Here’s a super easy peasy step-by-step guide on how to do just that:

  1. Choose a space. The first step is to choose a space in your home that will be dedicated to your home office. This could be a spare bedroom, a corner of your living room, or even a closet. If you have limited space, you may need to get creative with how you use your space. For example, you could use a writing desk or a corner desk if you are limited in space.
  2. Clear out the space. Once you’ve chosen a space, you’ll need to clear it out and make it ready for your home office. This means getting rid of any clutter, furniture, or other items that don’t belong in your office space.
  3. Set up your workspace. Once the space is cleared out, you can start setting up your workspace. This includes adding a desk, chair, and any other necessary furniture. You may also want to add some shelves or cabinets to store supplies. Get an affordable ring light because the lighting is important especially if you will be on Zoom and Teams calls frequently. It is also good to invest in a long ethernet cord in case you are required to be docked in or if you have wifi issues. Test out any company-provided and personal equipment ahead of time to avoid disruptions during the first week which is always shitty and hectic.
  4. Add some personal touches. Once your workspace is set up, you can start adding some personal touches. This could include adding plants, photos, or other items that make you feel comfortable and productive that are tasteful. Try to avoid distracting items and the rule of thumb you may think something is cool as far as decor, but everyone else may not so opt for blurring your background for video calls.
  5. Get organized. One of the most important things you can do to set up a successful home office is to get organized. This means creating a system for storing files and supplies and keeping your workspace tidy. There are many different ways to get organized, so find what works best for you.
  6. Set boundaries. It’s important to set boundaries between your work life and your personal life when you’re working from home. This means establishing regular work hours and sticking to them as much as possible. It also means not working from your home office on weekends or after hours. Try to have a space that isn’t located in your main living space if possible to avoid being tempted to log on or work later.
  7. Take care of yourself. Working from home can be a great way to have more freedom but can also get lonely. However, it’s important to take care of yourself when you’re working from home. This means making sure you take breaks, get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, stay hydrated, and exercise regularly. It is okay to step away for a moment when things are challenging or you have had to deal with someone unpleasant.

Following these tips will help you set up a successful home office quickly and help you be productive and efficient.

Tips for being a successful WFHM (work-from-home mom)

Being a work-from-home mom can be a rewarding and challenging experience. There are many benefits to working from home, such as the flexibility to set your own hours, the opportunity to spend more time with your family, and the potential to save money on childcare. However, there are also some challenges, such as the need to stay organized and disciplined, the potential for isolation, and the difficulty of maintaining a work-life balance.

If you are considering working from home, there are a few things you can do to make the transition easier. First, it is important to create a dedicated workspace in your home. This will help you stay focused and productive during your work hours. Second, it is important to set clear boundaries between your work life and your personal life. This means establishing regular work hours and sticking to them as much as possible. Third, it is important to find ways to stay connected with other people. This could involve joining a work-from-home mom group, taking online classes, or simply staying in touch with friends and family.

Working from home can be a great way to achieve a work-life balance and spend more time with your family. However, it is important to be prepared for the challenges that come with it. By following these tips, you can make the transition to working from home a success.

Tips for Being a Successful Work-From-Home Mom

  1. Create a dedicated workspace. This will help you stay focused and productive during your work hours. Even if you have a small space, you can create a functional workspace by decluttering a corner of your living room or bedroom.
  2. Set clear boundaries. This means establishing regular work hours and sticking to them as much as possible. It also means not checking work emails or taking work calls outside of your designated work hours.
  3. Find ways to stay connected. This could involve joining a work-from-home mom group, taking online classes, or simply staying in touch with friends and family.
  4. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to adjust to working from home. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get everything done right away. Just keep at it and you’ll eventually find your groove.
  5. Take breaks. It’s important to take breaks throughout the day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Get up and move around, or step outside for some fresh air.
  6. Don’t forget to have fun. Working from home can be a great way to have more flexibility in your schedule have more time for other things, and meet new people from different backgrounds. Don’t forget to enjoy the benefits of working from home even on the bad days, lonely days, and days that you feel like giving up.

Back at it again!

Aww yes! It has been a good almost 11ish years since I held down a regular job that didn’t involve me being an entrepreneur. I was a part of the mommy drain (not returning back to work after having a baby). After establishing several successful businesses and a good chunk of my kiddos are going to school, I often wondered if I would ever return back to the corporate world? especially after I finished my education. We all know being a SAHM ( or SAHD) is its own challenge in itself, but add in working from home…the party really gets wild. For a lot of people, Covid forced parents who worked outside the home to suddenly become WAH parents. For us, this didn’t apply because I was already a SAHM.

I knew this day would come because originally I never wanted to be as they would say “just” a SAHM. I think I worked harder than I ever have being a SAHM and being self-employed. I enjoyed having career and adult interaction. Being a stay-at-home mom can be lonely at times and can impact mental health especially if the person had an abrupt lifestyle change. This is in no way to shit on being a SAHM because trust me it has had a lot of perks. Did I always enjoy it? fxck no! but I am also glad I was able to comfortably enjoy it at the same time. So after some back and forth, chats with my beau, and trying to really figure out what I wanted to do…One day I just said to hell with it, and I took a leap and revamped my resume and started slanging applications in all directions. However, I was adamant…if I could not work from home I was not interested in returning back to the corporate world. The conditions had to be really RIGHT or close to PERFECT for me to give up my SAHM lifestyle. Now if you have been following me forever, then you may be surprised that I am returning back to work.

I think I put in a million applications and got discouraged at one point (ok several points). My husband at first wasn’t really feeling the idea. To my surprise, I landed several job interviews quickly. Some were not a good fit at all and I had to decline. Yes, some companies were not cool with the fact that I have basically been off the grid doing my own thing forever, and some were intimidated by me having an advanced education for some of the more entry-level careers that only required a bachelor’s. It is widely known that companies do not favor people who have taken significant time off to care for their homes and families, so you have got to really sell yourself! I was determined to find something that would value my worth, compensate me well for it, and respect my wishes to maintain as close to the lifestyle I am used to within reason. Now my first few interviews I totally bombed those because I was def out of touch with the process lol!

10 tips for returning

back to work as a WAHM

  • Utilize social media to connect with other moms who work from home. NETWORK! They may have job leads! Pick their brain, ask questions to get an idea of what to expect, and maybe do some things to try to make the transition easier. It is always nice to have someone to relate to. I am a member of several SAHM groups, but when I solidified my decision to return back to work I joined a few. They are def different from SAHM groups just a heads up.
  • If you are returning back on your own terms def do not pick something that you know you will dislike. For example sales. Yes, sales jobs are very easy to get with no experience for some companies but selling things by cold calling or leads is not for everyone. Try to scout out jobs or positions you feel will be fulfilling and enjoyable. Do not become desperate for a job. Stay focused and try to target jobs that really align with your background and skill level. Be open to trying something new within reason.
  • If you have a baby or smaller children who may be noisy etc, opt for positions that do not require or have limited phone interactions. There are jobs that are remote that are text, chat, or e-mail based but beware they are hard to come by and usually do not pay well. Most companies presently are okay with the fact that people have small children and other obligations and will work with you.
  • There will be disruptions. Hello KIDS (and pets)! Try to limit distractions and disruptions by planning ahead. If you are in control of your schedule, opt for working during naptime if you can. Make sure kids are settled, changed, fed, etc.
  • CREATE A SCHEDULE AND TRY TRY TRY TO STICK TO IT! Try to start the day the same way on the days you work. You both will need to be on a schedule. Checking emails, meetings, Movie time, snack time, lunchtime, nap time, etc.
  • If you are uptight about screen time, this is the time to get tf over it. Screen time isn’t all that bad. It’s the content. This is just my opinion, but your kiddos will def utilize screen time a lot while you are working to stay occupied and quieter.
  • Make a to-do list that is doable and reasonable. Laundry, cleaning, etc. Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to do it all in one day.
  • If you have access to a helping hand, accept the help.
  • When your attention is divided between your laptop and your kiddos, it is easy to lose track of time. Use your time wisely and pay attention to the clock. Try to limit the temptation of social media during production time. There are apps that can help with this if you need help not accessing them during certain times of the day.
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself and set boundaries. Easier said than done. You may think you can do it all and try to prove that you can. Don’t be unrealistic. This is not healthy behavior and will surely ruin your work/life balance. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get everything done. Being a WAHM may have its perks and conveniences, but like being a SAHM it is not easy. Accept you will still be a busy and sometimes tired human.

If you are deciding to return back to work as a WAHM after being a stay-at-home mom, just know the process may be frustrating and take weeks or months; but once you find your right gig, you can make a way! Think about it, you made a way to survive off one income for this long and take care of tiny humans, etc. alone each day. Support being a SAHM is important for success, and support is a big key to success with this new adventure of being a WAHM. We will see how this goes!

The best wig for lazy mamas

*Sponsored Post*

I chopped my past shoulder length hair off 2 years ago. Since then I have chopped it off two more times switching up the style. My goal for 2021 was to grow my hair back out. I learned a lot about my natural hair these past two years and I found that I was doing too much to it. I have always loved wigs even when my hair was long. I love them because when I want a certain color or cut, I can have it without the commitment. Wearing wigs is a great alternative for switching up your hairstyles easily and slaying at the last minute. I always said that I didn’t want to fall in the mommy hole of “letting myself go”. Well life happens and at one point I did. Once I dragged myself out of my last episode of depression, I made it a point to make sure I kept myself up the way I used to but in a way that was easier for me to manage. When you feel sexy and confident it definitely can boost your mood!

Wigs give me the creative freedom I need to express myself with my hair and also protect my natural hair while it is growing out. Don’t get me wrong; there is a wrong way to wear wigs that will cause damage t your hair. I tried lace front wigs and I was not a fan of gluing the wig to my head. I mainly wear glueless wigs or wigs with bangs that are throw and go. Throw and go means, take the wig off the mannequin, put it on and handle business. As a mom and small business owner, I do not have a lot of time to commit to getting ready to leave the house when I need to run errands or if I need to step out quickly. However, I do not want to leave the house looking busted either. Wigs have literally saved me from being late to my lash appointments and events with friends. Sometimes styling wigs can be time consuming and challenging; especially when you are not that great of a hair stylist like me. People always ask me what can’t I do? I reply HAIR! ya girl can’t do hair. Ya girl can’t even cornrow okay!? My hair is still pretty short, so I am not able to pull it up into a bun, do most crochet braid hairstyles, or attach a pony tail. I started looking for something besides head wraps that would be convenient, easy to style, could protect my natural hair, and slay at the same time! I discovered headband wigs! They are pretty trendy at the moment and you will notice a lot of people are starting to wear them. They legit are the bomb and a gamer changer for the wig industry and mom life!

One of my favorite sites to purchase my wigs from is Luvme Hair! They offer a huge selection of great quality wigs in different trendy styles and colors.

Here are some reasons to add a headband wig to your collection:

  • They are great wigs for beginners who are new to wearing wigs & Lazy mama friendly
  • You need absolutely No Glue! There is No Lace to cut or dye, and they look Super Realistic when style properly
  • You need Zero hair Skills to be able to put this wig on. The Install takes a few minutes after you put your wig cap on and/or lay your edges
  • The wig is breathable & the headband is comfortable because you can adjust it as needed
  • You can style it into a Ponytail or Bun
  • Affordably Priced compared to traditional lace front wigs,
  • They look Gorgeous
  • Luvme Hair gives you 5 Extra Trendy Headbands For Free when you purchase a headband wig from them

So let’s jump into the wig that Luvme Hair sent me to review!

I love the packaging!!!!! The wig came in a pretty purple box tied with a bow. Inside the wig is in a nice bag and also had some extra goodies in the box! A edge brush/comb, bobby pin, hair ties, a cute scarf for laying your edges down, extra headbands, a cute storage pouch for accessories, tweezers, a wig cap, and a blinged out Luvme Hair clip! There are also instructions for wearing the wig and taking care of it!

I took the wig out of the packaging and put it on my mannequin head. These style wigs are best to finger comb but you can lightly comb it if needed. The length, color, and density for this unit was on point!

After inspecting the wig, I brushed my hair back and put on a wig cap

Once I put the wig on, I adjusted the headband straps. The black band is sewn to the hair and is how you attach it to your head. There are also combs located inside of the wig to secure it. Be sure not to make the headband too tight because this can cause damage and headaches. You can’t be cute and uncomfortable!

Once I adjusted the wig to the position I wanted, I put on one of the headbands that Luvme Hair included

Headband wigs do offer versatility. You can wear it down, in a pony tail, in a ballerina bun or my fav, a messy bun! You can show your edges that’s up to you, but depending on the style, I cover mine.

So that’s it yall! Headband wigs are the best wig option for lazy mamas and this unit from Luvme Hair is a winner! These wigs can last a good while as long as you properly take care of them. So get out there and slay mamas and do it effortlessly!

If you want to buy this particular unit, click here! It’s currently limited edition, and wig prices vary depending on the length you buy. Luvme does accept Afterpay, it’s a payment plan option if you are on a budget; because we all know kids are expensive and wigs are an investment!

To learn more about the other beautiful wigs Luvme Hair has to offer, you can visit them via one of the links below!

Website: https://shop.luvmehair.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luvmehair
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/luvmehair
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/msluvmehair

*Sponsored post*

Do you wear wigs? Have you tried a headband wig yet? Let’s chat! Leave me a comment!

We are all mad here

My previous mental healthcare provider for a lack of better words was complete shit. I have wasted 2 years of my time with them. I recently became fed up with them and started to look for a new doctor. I came across this service called Cerebral. They basically offer virtual mental health services for a monthly fee * They do not deal with patients who have severe issues*. They have medication management, therapy and counseling. My anxiety has been pretty well managed; however, the depression not so much. I have felt for some time now that something still wasn’t right. The meds I was on were working to an extent but not 100%. After they fucked up my treatment plan and my medications, they basically stopped following up and fed me bullshit when I have had appts. After my first appointment with my new provider via Cerebral, it was determined during my extensive appointment and assessment that there was something else going on and not what they thought or guessed. My anxiety was confirmed. The OCD was confirmed. The PMDD was cancelled out and the MDD (depression) was basically a competency error of my previous provider’s part. Depression is sometimes confused with a few mental health disorders. One of them commonly being Bipolar disorder; which is sometimes hard to diagnose.

Hi, My name is Breyona and I am bipolar.

The crazy thing about all of this is I knew. I knew there was something else. I knew it was not just depression. It was not getting better, but it was not getting worse if that makes sense? It was more so semi managed by the wrong medication. I still had episodes of agitation etc. even on the main med. The reason I was failing so many drugs was because they kept giving me SSRI (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) medications and not medications meant for mood stabilization. So when I was in school obtaining my psychology degrees, I briefly touched on certain topics such as medications. I hadn’t gotten to that point in my education. SSRI’s are not the best thing to prescribe to someone who has bipolar disorder because it can induce mania. In my case it did. It has thrown me for a loop because hello! I have several degrees in psychology and a med education history (I dropped out). I basically diagnosed myself but then had several people tell me I was wrong lol. I was never in denial. I knew. At the end of the day it is called practicing medicine after all.

So here I am in 2021, writing yet another blog about my mental disorders only to completely change the narrative of this blog. I have always been a big mental health advocate but this is going to make me advocate harder for better mental health care. Since I have shared more about my journey with my mental issues, I have built rapport with a lot of my blog’s followers. There are a lot of people who can relate but in confidentiality. I hate that the topic of mental disorders (I do not like to use the words Mental illness) is still taboo especially in the minority community. I don’t care if people view me as being “crazy” or whatever, but in reality there are a lot of people who have a high level of intelligence that have a mental disorder. People get the misconception that when a person is diagnosed with a mental disorder, it means that they are not intelligent. Granted, there are some mental disorders that impact intelligence, not all of them do. Bipolar disorder is often called the dark side of creativity. A lot of “creative” individuals such as myself are commonly diagnosed with some form of bipolar disorder.

One of my favorite stories of all time is Alice in Wonderland. I have several tattoos with the theme. Even as a kid I loved this story. I was immediately drawn to the characters of the Mad hatter and the white rabbit who was always late. If you analyze the story, there are several things that stick out about the characters. Hence we are all mad here.

Alice was schizophrenic

The white rabbit had anxiety

The queen was a narcissist

The mad hatter had bipolar disorder or manic depression

The caterpiller had delusions of grandeur

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had ADHD

So what happens now?

So what happens now is, I begin my new journey of figuring out what the fuck is wrong with me and making it right. I will start the new medication soon. We are leaving everything else the same dosage and schedule wise. The only thing that changes is the SSRI will be eliminated and the mood stabilizer will be in it’s place. I am told I should see a big difference and get more relief within the next few weeks. TBH, I have been waiting for this moment since I was 13. I am glad that I decided not to continue to be told that I was wrong about how I felt. It’s my fucking brain after all. I am proud of myself for not giving up on me. I am holding myself accountable for my wellbeing. I refuse to give up on me period. I will be utilizing my time this year to get ready for our next move into our brand new 2nd home, sticking with my treatment plan and utilizing therapy once again (even though I know my triggers and have basically eliminated a lot of them, in case I have missed something), continue to grow my successful businesses, and work more on my art to really push my paintings. You can either be here for the growth and the glow up or unsubscribe/unfollow now because I am just getting started.


You would think by the 21st century women would not be slut shamed anymore. Female sexuality has a lot of imposed restrictions and significant negative attitudes about it.  It is no secret I am a very sexual person. I am 32 years old, healthy and energetic. I have always had a high sex drive and it hasn’t slowed down; even after I became a mom. I have been told you shouldn’t post that because you are a mom. You shouldn’t wear that because you are a mom. You have a bunch of girls and show cleavage and wear tight pants and short shorts…..the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, in this world, there are many believers in “the hand that rocks the cradle shouldn’t rock the bedroom”. Research has shown that 1/3 of couples married and unmarried experience a drastic loss of sexual desire after they have children.  Many women have a hard time separating their identity of mom and lover. Yes, children are a rival for affection against your boo…I get it. I am very open on this blog so if you are uncomfortable about sex talk then this is not the post for you to read. Come back when you are ready to not be a prude.

I have always preached the importance of not losing your identity after having kids. I do not put my children first all the time. In some cultures, men are often thought as horny, porn watching, sex all the time, masturbating creatures. Sadly, science and research usually support these stereotypes about men always thinking about sex most of the day, than chicks do; men jack off or masturbate more than females, men have more intense sexual feelings and that men have more orgasms, more often than women. News flash buddy, there are A LOT of women who love sex, watch porn and try to sink the little man in the pink canoe frequently!

I would say over the last 20 years (remember I am only 32 so a lot of this is research based) researchers have revisited common feelings about sexuality. Earlier research on female sexuality pretty much determined that the subject was not important. Women were extensively excluded from clinical trials and surveys in regards to sexual health. Today, there are more female scientist and because of this finally, more attention is being paid to the subject of female sexuality. Research has found there are parts of the brain that light up when there is clitoral, vaginal, cervical, and nipple stimulation (not breastfeeding this is different). It is common to think that women don’t naturally feel the urge for sex and that we can only get in the mood if there is foreplay, dirty talk and lots of romance. Actually, some of us don’t really care about that shit. I have heard that women are like crockpots and men are like microwaves. It takes longer for us to heat up. Some of us don’t need the desire to be initiated. Women sexuality really isn’t that complicated. Now it is true that when it is ovulation time and such that the hormones are raging for meat. This is a natural thing for mating purposes. Some women have a low libido from stress, sleep deprivation and being depressed. But all of these things can fuck up a guy’s libido too. They are not some immortal sexual beings. Our society still stigmatizes ladies who are open about their sexuality and usually view them as slutty etc. Some women have higher sex drives than their man’s. The media never portrays it that way and it makes some women feel like there is something wrong with them because they really like sex.

As a woman ages and gain sexual experiences, we learn ways to receive pleasure more so than ways on how to give it. If the dick is trash, she pretty much knows it as soon as the encounter starts based on previous experiences. How do you know you want to buy a car if you don’t test drive it? It is okay for men to sleep with multiple women, but let a female sleep with a bunch of men. All hell breaks loose. She is labeled with derogatory terms or deemed to be “undesirable”.  There is nothing wrong with a female testing the waters to figure out what she likes and doesn’t like as long as it is in a safe manner and situation. There are a million things that tell women how to please a man…but where is all the stuff about how to please a chick? For a long time, there was this whole thing with guys where they were ashamed to admit that they eat pussy. However, they all wanted girls to suck on their lil peepees….Chicks like head too dammit!

I experienced something with my husband that I had never experienced before. A night that was all about me. Have you ever had that? If not voice that to your partner and let them figure out the deets. This will tell you if they really pay attention to your pleasure and truly know how to get you to arrive at the party (orgasm). You might be met with some resistance and what about me? Comebacks, but there are a decent amount of guys that have yet to figure out that your pleasure is their pleasure. Different factors make women aroused and ready to party but there are usually A LOT of factors that will put the fire out. Selfishness being one of them.

Things that will impact your response to sex include:

  • How you feel about yourself
  • How you feel about your partner
  • Health
  • And a big big one is if you were brought up religious or like apart of a strict culture.

I don’t want to go much into religion, but I was brought up in a religious home and sex was not something that was supposed to be casual or even fun. In fact that shit sounded so boring and the fact that it was all about the man and being pure for him etc did not sit well with me. This is my body and I am not property. Sex is not just touchy feely. It is an emotional connection, even if that connection is Netflix and chill. Did you know that today’s negative views about female sexuality was formed by culture and religion? A long long time ago, it was believed that ladies who loved to have sex were considered mentally ill or a witch. Today if you don’t desire sex, a doctor will diagnose you with hyposexual disorder. Please do not take this as if you have low libido that something is super wrong with you. That isn’t true. For me when my libido tanked it was a big indicator that my anxiety and depression meds were not working for me. I enjoy sex and not being able to enjoy it anymore surely was not going to make me feel any happier or less anxious.  Media plays a big part in destroying a woman’s self esteem. Self esteem impacts sexual desire. I have pretty average to high self esteem and I feel like I look good which makes me feel sexy. Apparently being a mom, you are not supposed to be “sexy”.

I have had my issues with self-image and I did something about it. When I made changes and felt better, it boosted my emotional spirit and I felt like I was my old self. In my super late teens and 20s I was promiscuous. I am never afraid to tell people this. Yes, I had A lot of sex, but I was safe with it. Most women have their sexual renaissance later in life, I had mine earlier lol. Sexual prime can show up at any age. For me it was then but really pulled up once I turned 30. There has never been a culture or religion that I have come across that encourages a female to experiment and discover their sexuality. Instead, we are taught to CENSOR it. I learned over time boundaries and what is acceptable sexual behavior…acceptable sexual behavior for a female is basically to not be sexy. Modesty has long been the way of life. I am not a modest person and I am ok with that.  I have been told that I don’t dress like a mom or look like a mom. I don’t understand that shit. It sounds absolutely ridiculous.  Mainstream hook up culture has been booming the past few years. This mostly started with porn. Because of this, sex is looked at as a detached thing with no meaning and immoral. I have never believed as a female that the purpose of sex was to make a relationship solid with a certain person. It was simply using each other’s body for pleasure. As a female and thinking this way, it is pretty much considered “slutty or Hoeish”.

Slut shaming still happens. I have been slut shamed for wearing certain tops since I am a mom, twerking since I am a mom, talking openly about sex or dicks since I am a mom etc. Let a guy do it then it is not a problem even if he is a Dad. Sex has always been looked at differently depending on if it is the man or the woman engaging. Sexual double standards praise men and put down women still to this day. Even if a guy has had more sexual partners, he would likely not desire a chick with a high body count (depending on certain factors). However, women are usually more accepting of a guy who has a high body count because society has made that to be something to expect out of men.

Even in rape cases there have been times where the number of sexual partners and her sexual behavior has been brought up in court in a way to defend the rapist or tear apart the victim’s claim. This can cause a biased verdict. Sexual double standards still exist because the idea of it is ingrained and still being assumed in our society. Guys earn status for having casual sex and smashing a lot of people and women are stigmatized. Ladies are unfairly shamed and discriminated against because of these double standards. Recently I had a nice little troll tell me I was worthless and human trash because I am a mom and have an only fans and porn hub account. There are a lot of people making money off these sites and reaching their financial goals. Yes, it is looked down on by a lot of people because of what society has taught us over the years about sex work. Newsflash, not everything on only fans is porn lol. Only fans was not created just for porn. There are bloggers on there that have a huge following and post exclusive content on there and share information on there that they do not want to share for FREE. Even if a girl is on only fans or porn hub securing the bag who the fuck cares? It’s not your body. My personal adult life is in no way a reflection of my ability to be a good mom. My life did not stop because I had kids. I am happily married and enjoying my life with my husband. I am enjoying my youth and embracing my sexiness. For a little while after I had kids I hated my body because of SNAP BACK CULTURE. I hate it and am guilty of it. After having a bunch of babies, you realize that snap back culture is stupid.

I feel sexy. I have embraced my stretch marks and curves and other people notice it. I am a MILF and I will not be ashamed of it.

E is for effort

Sometimes what we are most afraid of, we need the most to get better. The months seem to be speeding up yet going super slow. This shitty year is almost over. I found my mental health all over the place; but generally more good days than bad days. A lot of my recent issues are due to lack of effort.


ef·​fort | \ ˈe-fərt  , -ˌfȯrt \

Some days it is hard to adult, mom, and wife all at the same time. The house was becoming a mess and so was I. I had to start putting in more effort to get my space out of chaos. I had to start putting in more effort into communicating when I am not ok and taking better care of me. I am not going to lie, when Covid start shutting things down it definitely triggered me. I had gotten back active, I had my body heading in the right direction, I was going to the gym 5 days per week and eating right. As months passed I gained a lot of the weight I worked hard to lose back. This made me unhappy and I fell into a pit of misery. I sulked and complained about my clothes no longer fitting and how much my back was giving me problems. I wasn’t eating right or doing shit in general to fix the issue. I tried working out at home but it was not fun or motivating. My beau bought me exercise equipment and I barely touched it. As time went on, I just stop giving a fuck. I stopped giving a fuck about a lot.

I really had to check myself when I gave a friend advice and soon after the conversation, I felt like a big ass hypocrite. How was it that I can motivate the hell out of other people, but here I am struggling with the shit myself?

My beau starting a new job was a big accomplishment this year. However, it came with a few lifestyle changes. We have had to get used to a lot. It seems like it was easier going from military to civilian versus going from the fire department to a “normal” career with a schedule that is less hectic. TBH, I kinda miss the chaos. Our new normal has a lot of good things about it which outweigh the shitty parts. We had to rearrange a few of our goals in the process. We found ourselves arguing and it got to the point were we stopped “dating”. We stopped spending quality time together, we started doing our own hobbies alone, we started to lose ourselves to our own devices.

For a while I had a fear of failure. I felt like I was failing as a wife and mom. My kids were having a terrible time with homeschooling at first and so was I. However, this is the best for them as individuals and for our family’s current schedule etc. My kids were not putting in the effort to complete their work without distractions, and I was not putting in enough effort to stay on top of everyone’s shit. I assumed they would hit the ground running. Sometimes as parents, we forget that children are not little adults. They are little humans who are learning. Just like adults hate major changes, kids do too. We had to take a break and figure things out collectively. I kept saying I am going to be more involved, I am going to do this and that. But the fear of failure and lack of effort made me my own worst enemy. The fear of failure is not always a bad thing though. Being afraid to fail keeps us from settling. It keeps us for settling for things that are just ok or good enough to get by. Not settling for shit plays a big part in being successful at things and putting your best foot forward. When something is good enough, the better thing is no longer an option because you settled.

Failing teaches important lessons. I know that I won’t succeed at parenting and other things all the time. However, I can try to control what I choose to do with the failure and decide if it truly was failure or a success. From my kids being home, I learned more about their individual learning styles. I found out more about things they are disinterested in and what they are more interested in and passionate about. I also learned how much alcohol and coffee fuels the day lol! I have readjusted my schedule, plans, and even several of my small businesses.

I have suffered a small number of personal embarrassments and a little bit of humiliation I handled myself in these moments ok, and used it as a wonderful lesson to strengthen my character, fuel my ambitions, and learned how to love harder. Everyone is going through something at the moment. When you really dig in and learn the truth about yourself, you will tap into how much integrity you possess or lack.

I have made more of an effort to listen to my children. Kids tell it like it is. Unfiltered truth about certain things and situations. Now my kids do say some off the wall shit from time to time that is hilarious, they also say things that hurt but have a well meaning message. My kids noticed that I had become inactive and that I wasn’t taking the best care of myself. That I wasn’t taking my anxiety and depression meds properly and that I seemed unhappy. This stung like hell. I took it as a big sign that I needed to get my shit together.

I was working on shit that didn’t inspire me anymore. I started cleaning up my friend’s list on social media and in real life. I had over 10k followers on IG and I ended up removing a lot of people who were following me or I was following them. Protect your peace. If someone does not add to your peace and happiness, if you feel a certain way when you see their post etc, delete them and move on. This may seem like a strange choice for a person like me who blogs and such and numbers mean a lot in that world. This started to mean less to me because it is always quality of quantity. I want people who want to genuinely follow me, follow along. I want those who truly want to support me support me. I have been working on defining my content, my Etsy shop, my body, my mind and my circle.

I start my days by reading an positive affirmation. I try not to begin my day on a negative note but it does happen from time to time. This can be due to not properly planning, rushing, procrastinating and not managing stress well. If you start your day off on a positive note and remember the good feelings, you will make a connection that you have set the tone and should try to maintain it for the rest of the day.

Make an effort to stop settling for less than you deserve. This can be relationships, friendships and careers. Use negative experiences as a way to define boundaries. If things always went our way, we would have no room to learn how to love and appreciate the things we have that are amazing while we have them.