Category Archives: marriage

C is for coconut

CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT

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Spelling coconut when you are doing the cowgirl position (aka riding) has been the hot topic lately. If you have been under a rock, they say when a girl is on top the trick to the cowgirl position is spelling the word COCONUT with your hips is supposed to be something magical. If you are like me, you are kind of lazy on top (don’t judge me). So I put this so-called coconut thing to the test. Let me tell you, it made my ass TIRED. I usually do things a bit differently when I handle business up top. I am not in shape for this shxt. You better pray you have good rhythm. I don’t suggest doing this hands-free. Use your hands for support.

So my experience with this went a little something like this:

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Me and my beau had a few drinks one night and decided we were going to have sexy time. I stumbled into bed and we went at it. I was rolled on top and I froze. Then I got this bright idea that I had been seeing all over social media which was the coconut riding trick….Drunk me got on top and said, “ohhhh coconuts”. My beau replied, “coconuts? what?” and I attempted it and yeeah drunk me didn’t know how to spell coconuts and I got irritated and said, “this is stupid as fxck” and we both laughed and then changed positions.

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IDK about you, but I am almost 31 and I know what I like and don’t like and what works and doesn’t works for us during sexy time…me spelling shxt while drunk…negative. Why it had to be coconuts? I know how to spell bananas even while not sober thanks to gwen stefani. If it aint broke don’t fix it. So ladies, no coconut for me but I will take my horse to the old town road and ride til I can’t no more!

Until next time,Breyona

Open Letter To My Beau

Dear Zaine,

First off thank you for always keeping the toilet seat down. As a young girl I don’t think I ever dreamed much about marrying prince charming because I didn’t think that I would ever get married. My amazing husband, you are the man that decided to marry my crazy ass. I believe you have chosen well, not to toot my own horn. I love your scent of coffee, bacon, and burnt down houses when you come home from your shifts at the fire station. Your smile makes me smile. I also have to add that your constant comments about my ass is very motivating and your booty rubs are romantic. You are a real life super hero to me and you rarely ask for anything in return. You don’t complain (a lot lol) when you come home to a wrecked house or when I rant about having a bad day with the kids, and the days you have to deal with me and my issues. Instead, you take care of me and help me gather up my sanity and hold me together. Even after all these years of us being together, you continue to amaze me with your sense of humor, kindness, generosity, and love for me. You didn’t know this because you were unconscious, but when I had to sleep downstairs after the c-section, I watched you sleep and I told you how much I loved you. You slept on the floor next to me, while I slept on the couch. You never once complained or left me hanging. 20181027_121839

I watched you sleep like the creep that I am because sometimes I can’t believe that you are mine. I know my anxiety and depression causes me to think about the sadness we have shared sometimes, but I want to say thank you for continuing to fight with me and for me. Thank you for all of the kind things you have said and done to show me how much you love me and care about me. I can’t help but to feel special and consider myself lucky to have you in my life. I am lucky to have the world’s best guy as my best friend and husband. I love you so much and that will never change no matter how much you annoy me at times 🙂 20180811_221207

I appreciate everything about us being together. I cherish all the good times we have had and bad times where we had to be there for each other. The times when we have struggled and the times where we had to learn how to understand and love each other. Our relationship has become stronger than what we could have ever imagined. With each passing year, I have realized how much I have loved you and wanted you. You are truly my best friend and love of my life. You are my past, present and future. You are my hope, my indulgence, and my strength. You have also given me precious gifts that money can’t buy. These 7 gifts will always be treasured in my heart and memories which will always live within my soul. I love watching you be a father to our children and had plenty of fun making them (haha).  When I see you being a father, it makes me fall in love with you all over again. 20180625_214700

Thank you for always being there for me and listening to me even when I talk nonsense and rant. Thank you for encouraging me when I doubted myself and felt like giving up. Thank you for being my biggest supporter and cheerleader in every way. Thank you for joining the Army for the sake of fighting for our country and providing for our family. Thank you for working so very hard being a Firefighter/EMT to give us a comfortable life; even though it comes with the price of you missing holidays, special occasions, and milestones. You are one of the hardest working men that I know and I am so proud of you. You have worked diligently these past few years to obtain your engineering degree to give us a even better life and you are almost at the finish line! Resized_20181214_102041_85

I just want you to know that I see how hard you are working. I notice all of your efforts and it means the world to me. You mean the world to me.

Happy 32nd Birthday Babe!

Until next time,Breyona

The Lit Marriage: Doom in the Bedroom

Ways to maintain sex and intimacy after kids

So you spent all this time trying to avoid or achieve getting pregnant and then BOOM! You have a positive pregnancy test. Nine months fly by and then the stork delivers to you the biggest but cutest cxck blocker known to mankind…kids.

For some women, sex and intimacy goes out of the window with sleep, free time and peeing in peace when they have a baby and others it gets better. I have been asked a lot about this topic because everyone assumes that since we have a large family that we have this amazing sex life. Well, I am going to be real with y’all about it, it is pretty damn legit but requires a little more creativity and compromising. I have experienced some of the common issues with intimacy after babies (such as low self esteem due to the changes your body undergoes during pregnancy), but I was able to quickly resolve those issues. The biggest thing is being very realistic about things. Yes, kids change a lot of factors in regards to your life as a whole, and one of those things is sex. When you are married or in a relationship, pregnancy and beyond can impact your sex life greatly. It is something that happens but the initial approach to it will make a huge difference in it being positive or negative.

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Yes, you will hate your postpartum body…I don’t know too many people who are absolutely in love with it. I mean if you like the idea of your tummy looking like you are still expecting or like a smashed brain once it finally deflates then my friend you rock. For this mama, the postpartum stage is filled with lots of OMG look at my body, this is going to take forever to fix etc. For me this goes away within the first 6 weeks. Then you have to deal with all of the hormones being out of whack, adjusting to a new baby and his or her schedule, and juggling all other aspects of your life including your significant other. And then there is daddy….He may or may not be sensitive to this delicate time, but for them sleep deprivation or being well rested, 6 weeks seems like an eternity. Doctors recommend that you wait the full 6 weeks for them to give you the okay to make sexy time. Now, a few factors goes into this. The biggest one is how your delivery went. C-section, natural, being torn from the roota to the toota (front to back), stitches, you name it. I approach it as the same way I do exercise. When I am feeling up to it, start slow and work my way back up. Contrary to the popular judgemental belief, not everyone waits the six weeks to have sex. I haven’t each time, but that is me. I don’t recommend telling people what to do with their boom boom rooms, but that is between you, your significant other and your doctor.

Honestly, sex got better after having kids….

I am going to explain why it did. When you are actually trying for a baby, it is the most fraustrating shxt ever. It is time consuming tracking cycles, crying over negative tests, taking your temps etc; and although they say don’t stress and have fun, you usually stress and it becomes a chore. You are so focused on the window of opportunity that you forget the other reasons why you are making sexy time. Once that ship has sailed, it goes back to the old times where sex is recreational and fun.

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Now don’t get me wrong, you still have to have a strictly business approach because when you have kids, making sexy time is like race against time. How much time do you have before the dinosaur chicken nuggets are done and everyone is distracted watching a kiddie movie or show to get it in? Is this a long nap or short nap? I can go on and on. My beau said I got sexier to him when I had his kids. I feel the same way about him. When he became a father, his sexy meter went up. It was a new sense of him being a super provider and protector that sent my hormones in overdrive. Our bond is so much closer since we became parents. Not to mention I melt when I see him just being a dad. Playing with the kids etc, it makes me happy. They say happy wife happy life.

Things that put doom in the bedroom

Being bogged down with routines: Instead of you two being available to each others needs, you neglect each other for the needs of the child. Yes, make sure your child is taken care of and settled in, but sometimes it is okay for them to not be held the entire time while they sleep. If you are finding yourself “scheduling” sex, stop it right now. Be a little more creative. Spontaneity keeps that flame burning. One thing I like to do is we shower together (when I haven’t fallen asleep first, depending on how tired mama is). Bedtime is a good time for making sexy time happen. If you share a room with baby, then go to another room. If you co-sleep, safely barricade your little bundle of joy and skip to another room. I do not believe people when they say they “don’t have time for sex” once they have had kids. There is time you just have to use your time wisely when you have a chance. Wake your butt up earlier or go to bed later.

Not trying to keep the romance alive or being romantic: Juggling work and kids, school and kids, hell just life in general and kids can put a damper on romance. Flirt like you did before you had kids, send sexy texts to each other, surprise him with some new fragrances or lingerie when it is time for bed. If you are struggling with body image issues after having a baby, one thing that helped me is looking in the mirror and saying positive affirmations. I tell myself I love my body even when I don’t always feel that way.

Making your life all about your kids: Yes they are your life but no yours doesn’t have to stop. Trust me they will be okay. Don’t neglect your spouse because you have kids. There are ways to balance out your time and love. Neglecting sex and intimacy can cause you to have issues with yourself. This is apart of self care believe it or not.

Hormones and other things you can’t really control: Some women libidos take a nose dive after they have kids. There are some ways to boost it naturally that I will share in another post. Hormones can impact several portions of being a female after you have a baby. That is what lube is for my friend. Don’t be afraid to bring it into the bedroom. It makes things more comfy for you and your partner.

Criticizing yourself and your body: It’s hard but try to avoid this. You may not be bikini ready by textbook and social media standards right away, but learn to love what you have. For me I am a little self conscious afterwards so I have the lights off completely or low until I feel comfy again.

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Things that prevent or limit doom in the bedroom after kids

Be realistic and have realistic expectations: Your schedule will likely change so the normal uninterrupted times you were used to doing it are gone. Your hour marathon now is a 10-15 minute race. If you aren’t eager to jump back into the game make it known and it usually helps to explain why. Sometimes people don’t really get how you feel in the postpartum stage and it’s not so much you are being stingy with love or purposely rejecting your spouse. Communication is important. Be patient when you are not up for sex. Offer simple gestures of affection instead. It’s all normal and totally okay. If it hurts say so and stop and resume when you are able to engage at a comfortable level.

Quickies: Quality not quantity here. quickies become your new best friend when it comes to sex after kids. Some people don’t like quickies and prefer marathon sex, but I suggest you get used to quickies and make them count. The good thing about quickies is that you both know what you need to do to arrive at the party. That way you ensure you both will get your fix. Also being pressed for time can make you both desire each other more. Save the marathon sexy time for when you are kid free. Also woman to woman, don’t feel pressured to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable sexually. Yes try new things, but within comfort.

TTC Round 2-infinity: After you successfully have one kid and learn all of the what to expect shxt, when you are ready for round 2, 3, 4, 5 etc you know what changes to expect and how getting pregnant works and will be a little more relaxed about things and just go with the flow and let it happen how it happens. If you have other plans, I suggest you make sure your birth control method is reliable. The lack of stress makes respawning easier and less blah. You can actually enjoy each other without worries.

The 6 week wait: If you wait the 6 weeks, you can build up to the big moment again. You can be super flirty and get creative and do other things that don’t involve actually having sexy time. You don’t always have to have sex to be intimate. Massages and just making out are always nice.

Be intimate emotionally first: Reconnect with your spouse. You spent all of this time talking about babies and kids everyday, now it’s time to stop. Find other topics to explore. Most females like to be emotionally stimulated before they are physically stimulated. Someone once put it like this: girls are like crock pots, we take a little longer to heat up; boys are like microwaves, all they need is a little heat and they are ready. Being emotionally unavailable tends to kill sex and intimacy. Talk to your partner about things that may be bothering you such as your appearance and frustrations of being a parent. Find a balance. Venting and then being reassured about doubts etc can make a world of a difference. For me I used to make comments about my body changes and he always tells me that I am beautiful and that I am doing a good job.

Share the responsibilities: When you have children, sharing responsibilities and helping each other when caring for them tends to lead to mutual happiness. It has been proven in a few studies that when parents share responsibilities of caring for a child they have better sex. When the care is one sided, the resentment will set in and who is turned on by that?

Being creative: Again, within comfort. Explore. Redefine what sex and intimacy is for you and your spouse. This can be sensually touching, kissing, or exploring a new hobby together. Try different positions. Sometimes postpartum sex isn’t ideal for certain positions so you may have to try a few different ones to be comfy. Who knows you may discover your new favorite position!

Prepare in advance: If you know you are going to make sexy time happen, try to limit interruptions. Again, use your time wisely. Put the kiddos in do not disturb mode by setting up a movie and snacks, be sure to lock your door or barricade them safely in another room with a baby gate if they are tots. If you are breastfeeding make sure the feeding is done prior to or you have pumped especially since leaks can happen and when the boobies are full they tend to be a little on the uncomfy side being touched.

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Just like parenting, sex and intimacy after kids is a learning experience. You thought you knew what you were doing before kids but then afterwards this is a game changer. Just know that it does get better with time. Start slow mama and ease back into things.

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All Juice No Seeds

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So with us finding out we were about to have our last baby sooner than planned and expected, we immediately knew which route we wanted to take for birth control. No questions asked, a vasectomy. There was nothing to discuss and it was a mutual decision. I really don’t understand why so many guys are resistant to the procedure, when it is actually a piece of cake. It has less complications, less down time, a easier recovery, and is overall very effective. My husband was very open to it when we discussed it; and best of all, we didn’t have to pay anything besides the specialist co pay to have it done (winning!). If you are considering it, the first thing I recommend you do is call your insurance provider and see if it is covered. Most major insurance companies now cover vasectomies and treat them as a “regular visit to a specialist” because it is done in office. Now, with that being said, if your hubby is a little bit of a “chicken” and prefers to be put to sleep for the procedure then you will have to factor in those costs.

For our situation (and baby making history), we decided it was best for us to have it done during the pregnancy. We waited until the 2nd trimester to schedule it. Previously, we were going to do it the last trimester but we both wanted it out of sight out of mind. The best thing of all is that he will be sterile way before the pregnancy is over; so I don’t have to worry about birth control period!

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We both knew that regardless of what happens (in and out of our control) this is our last pregnancy. We felt very confident in our decision with the doctor who we chose to do the procedure after a little research. I do recommend going with a practice that is reputable and in network. We went with Georgia Urology because several people we know have used them and they are one of the largest urology groups here.

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Your beau will have to do a consultation first, which explains the procedure etc.  You can sit in on the consultation if you want, but I didn’t care. I sat in the car while he had that appointment. I didn’t care how it was done, I just need the shxt to work! Anywho, scheduling was a bit frausting being that they are a large group, we couldn’t get it done as soon as we would have liked but it didn’t matter. Damage is already done. The surgery was scheduled for January 2nd (Happy New Year!). We both were anxiously awaiting V-day and there were no second thoughts whatsoever about it. Hubby got off shift that morning from the fire department, we had breakfast and then headed out for his appointment.

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Once we arrived he received more instructions etc, they prepared the room, took him to the back, did local anesthesia, and 20mins later he was done. It was a scalpel-less procedure. The “incision” is basically a small puncture that can heal on its own without stitches. That’s it! Easy peasy!

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How To Survive Your Hubby’s Vasectomy 

 

  1. Be his hype “man”

    It is a big decision for a guy to sacrifice his “manhood” and get the procedure done. He will no longer be dangerous to make sexy time with and you will essentially put your baby bun factory out of business since you will have no use for the baby batter anymore. Hype him up! Be excited! Even if you are a little sad about the ending of this chapter, look at the biggest perk! Unlimited unprotected baby worry free sex! If you show excitement he will feel more confident about the decision and less likely to back out.

  2. Make it as fun as possible vas12vas11vas10

    Get shirts for the occasion and take pics! This is a day to commemorate! This day is just as important as your pregnancy announcement!

  3. Be prepared in advanced vas4

    You will need to make sure he has ice packs (frozen peas work just as well as other ice packs), and more than one jockstrap. Yes he can wear tight fitting undies, but the jock strap offers more support for the healing ball sack. Also the one he wears after the surgery will be dirty (a little blood here and there) and it is important to keep the area super clean since he won’t be able to shower for the first 24 hours. Have snacks ready and a location for him to recover already established to limit him getting up and down etc. He also can not lift anything over 15 pounds so put that honey do list on hold. Depending on what he does for a living, he may want to take a little time off. My beau is a firefighter so he took off a few shifts (2 to 3 for some people) and was fine when he returned.

  4. Make him comfyvas13

    Once you have the recovery location set up, have things close by to limit the ringing of the bell. Drinks, snacks, pain meds, etc all in one location or easily accessible. We have stairs so it was a bit tiring for me going up and down.  Keep ice packs in rotation because he will basically be surviving off of them. Also as far as pain, manage it before it starts or gets worse. My hubby was okay without them and mainly just wanted ice. Fix a special meal for the occasion or something easy. We ordered pizza.

  5. Keep him hydrated vas14

    My beau wanted Jack and Coke, so I kept them coming (with plenty of water in between of course). Since he wasn’t taking any pain pills, it was the least I could do.

So that is it, there is not much to it! Other than your hubby taking it easy for a few days and his ball sack being a little bruised looking, it wasn’t that bad at all. He has a check up tomorrow to check the puncture site and then another check in about 3 months (they say your beau should “arrive at the party” about 15-20 times within that timeframe to ensure he is sterile). At the 3 month mark, at that appointment he has to make sexy time by himself and “party” in a cup, for them to check the sample to see if he is sterile or not. (If you aren’t pregnant, you will need to use something or stay on birth control until he is cleared. For the love of coffee, please do not skip the follow up appointments).

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In the meantime during recovery, he will need plenty of rest and it is advisable to wait a week before you have sexy time…..whether we waited a week or not well that’s none of your business 😉

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When Plans Change

When Plans Change (1)

So remember how a few months back I wrote the piece Last baby sadness? we made the decision not to get the vasectomy done this past March after we had Kendall. Kendall turned out to be a girl and we both kind of wanted another boy. Since we are financially able and such, we both weighed pros and cons and ultimately decided  “screw it” let’s shoot for one more and then call it quits. I mean after all we have five kids already so what’s one more? So with the vasectomy cancelled, we set plans for our last baby for sometime next year. I wanted to be done with this portion of school in April and take a break. Although I wanted to be done having babies before my 30th (next August), I figured I could always celebrate a little later if things didn’t work out how we planned. Well, my body decided to say f what you have planned.

 

So August, I had big plans for my birthday since I was turning 29. I had plans to basically go all out and have fun and get shxt-faced; all that good stuff. Well August arrived and I basically skipped a cycle. I was so worried I was possibly pregnant then because I had just stopped breastfeeding and felt like my birthday plans would be ruined.  My cycle window came and went so I tested it was negative, life was great. I had a pretty wild party and had the time of my life and everyone swore up and down I was going to get knocked up from birthday sex. NOPE!

September came and my cycle decided to return with a vengeance.  It was like the apocalypse of all cycles. My body had to make up for the skipped cycle I guess.  I survived. hmm

After the cycle from hell, we rolled into October and everything seemed back to normal. It has already been concluded that I have an irregular cycle so I was expecting my period to come at a certain point but I always give it an entire week to see which day it is going to rear its ugly head. The week of my cycle arrived. I was prepared to embrace whatever mother nature’s bxtch ass threw at me. I felt a little weird the first few days before it was due and I know that weird feeling all too well. So I decided to buy a cheap ass test to see. Well it was negative. I was super crampy the next day and felt like an idiot having wasted a few bucks on a test and went ahead and got a box of pads and all my other monthly goodies. I use the period panties by THINX but not on certain days when it is due because I can’t always gauge if it is going to be a shxtty cycle or not. So I diaper it up until I see which level of doom I am at. So being that I had tested 4 days prior I had thought nothing of the fact my cycle had not arrived yet. I was beyond crampy and felt like pure shxt so I just knew it was coming. Well my suspicion was raised when we had to make a trip to the store so hubby could return a Redbox rental. He had an issue with the one he received out of the machine so he needed to address the issue with customer service. I wanted to look around, so I left him to do his business and went to the other side of the store. As I was walking by, a stinky old man passed me by and I almost puked everywhere.

WTH? I thought, and then it clicked. You need to take another pregnancy test. I thought about all of the crazy pork rinds (I call them skins) that I had been devouring and how I haven’t eaten them in years and the crazy obsession with lemonade I had been having. I jetted to the aisle where they were and snatched a Clear Blue Digital off the shelf.  I went to self check out and tossed it in the diaper bag and suffered through the rest of the shopping trip. Hubby ended up having to leave to take Kendall to a doctor’s appointment so I debated on taking it that day or waiting until the next morning while he was at work to take it. I was nervous as hell for some reason. I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to take it the same day because I had already emptied my bladder and I wasn’t technically late yet. When we got home it was like the test was calling my name from the diaper bag. “take me”….So once hubby left I continued working on a cake order and then I caved. I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom and took the test. I didn’t think it would work because my little pee sample was pretty pathetic lol. But nonetheless it immediately started blinking that it was working! The test was supposed to countdown and flash four bars before the results.

Well this shxt flashed two bars and BOOM! PREGNANT!

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I sat in the bathroom for a while to process things and then for whatever reason I sat in my huge walk in closet staring at the test (don’t ask). I immediately thought about how I was going to tell him. I really didn’t plan this far ahead. I didn’t think things would happen so soon. So I put the test in the top drawer of my nightstand and went back downstairs with my heart racing. My hubby eventually returned home and told me about Kendall’s appointment, but he had also stopped by our favorite liquor store and picked up a butt ton of craft beer. Craft beer that I could not drink because ya know I was like 2 hours pregnant. I decided I needed to tell him. So I sent him on a dummy mission to retrieve something from upstairs and quickly set up my phone to record me telling him. Something I have never done before.

Once I had the phone hidden and at the right angle I told him nevermind about the nonexistent item I needed from upstairs. He came back down stairs, in a panic I asked him to help me cut out something for the cake I was working on. As he was working on that I ran upstairs to get the test. I didn’t think this through at all. I had nowhere to put the test because my yoga pants had no pockets! I shoved it in the band behind me and ran back down stairs. I was shaking lol I was so nervous to tell him (IDK why). So I started the convo off pretty casual and mentioned that we needed to return back to the store for a 3rd time (when we returned the rental that was our second time at the store). So he wasn’t really paying me any attention. So I told him I forgot something and mentioned prenatal vitamins. He took a second and then he asked “you’re pregnant?” and I showed him the test. Pretty lame way to tell him but it was still super cute. Now recording his reaction I was not sure what to expect. I figured either he’s going to cuss a lot out of excitement or say something off the wall. But his reaction made me tear up because it was just too damn cute. He was so overjoyed and happy and is still as excited about things 14 weeks later.

Now the following day was Friday October 13th. We were supposed to go to my friend’s house for a little onesie Friday the 13th party to watch scary movies and celebrate Halloween approaching. I knew there would be lots of alcohol consumed because that is what we do when we get together. We talked about it and made the decision to tell our small circle of buddies the news! In which they thought it was a joke at first!

So only a few people knew that we were expecting again, and lots of people had been asking me if I was the past few weeks but I kind of left a small trail of breadcrumbs but didn’t really tell anyone if I was or not. We decided we would wait for the right time to spill the beans to the world and everyone else. This baby did come as a surprise as far as timing goes but I am not complaining. I say I am not complaining because I am due in June and my 30th birthday is in August. So guess who still gets to get shxt-faced on their 30th bday next year!? This girl! I won’t be back summer time fine by then but I will make the postpartum body work. My due date is set for June 18th which is the day after my beloved granddaddy’s birthday. I know he is up in heaven smiling with his Atlanta Braves cap on and saying “that’s alright” which was something he said no matter what it was that you told him. It is still a little unreal that we are expecting our last baby finally!  It’s bittersweet and unexpected, and that’s alright!

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THE “LIT” MARRIAGE: DATE NIGHT IDEAS Part ii

fun Date Night Ideas that are free or cost effective (1)

If you are a millennial like me, going to the movies as a date is played out and pretty much not even fun anymore. With things like Red Box, Netflix and other streaming apps, and not to mention the crazy ticket prices for theaters; going to the movies is just not something that I consider to be fun anymore. Back in the day, going to the movies was the THING to do for a date. Dinner and a movie. Well the millennial generation created this thing called Netflix and chill and that killed the going to the movies vibe. Now some couples might still enjoy going to the movies. However for us, going to the movies is a family thing and usually involves us going to see a kids movie that we either A) Didn’t want to see to begin with but have to because we have 5 kids or B) We want to see it just as bad as the kids because we are kids ourselves at heart.

When you grow up and get to a certain point in your relationship, you have to start being creative. Now my last post dedicated to dating was in regards to having date night at home (The “lit” Marriage: Date Night Ideas). This piece will give you 10 date night ideas to start off with, and I will be sharing more as we go along my blogging journey because I have a TON of ideas to share!

  1. Beer tours & beer festivals : Pretty much anything that involves beer is always a win in my book! If you are in Atlanta, there are plenty of local breweries that have tours that you can go on. You can see how the beer is made and have a tasting as well. If you like it, you also have the option to purchase some! Fill up those growlers! Most states have craft breweries scattered about and all it takes is a quick Google search and boom! Instant lists of small breweries. Most breweries do tours on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays and a good bit do them on Mondays as well. Beer festivals are pretty easy to find as well via Facebook, Groupon and by searching Google. We attended one of our favorite annual events at our local zoo called Brew at the Zoo. The tickets were sold in advance and because we have a zoo membership (this is essential when you have kids), the tickets were discounted. We received a tasting cup and a list/map of all of the participating vendors. You could sample as little or much as you liked. It was a good time and by last call I had to be carried to the car by hubby. IMG_20170528_095004_601
  2. Exploring smaller cities/towns square aka downtown areas: The city that we live in has a cute little area that is called The Square by locals. There are several other connecting cities that have similar areas that offer cute little shops, diners and restaurants and great areas for pics! You never know, you might find your next favorite local spot to eat! IMG_20170714_155818_431
  3. Coffee Date: This is good for spur of the moment day dates and evening dates. I love Starbucks and coffee shops in general. That is no secret. The ambience is always cozy and if it is not too busy you might be able to score a nice spot in the corner or on the patio to sip and talk about life and other things. This also works great if you have little ones because you can get them a treat while you two enjoy your coffee. (Remember date night or date day doesn’t ALWAYS have to be an entire day or night or last hours. It can be something as quick and simple as this and still count! )IMG_20170706_170449_265

4. Paintballing: If you are not afraid of taking a few hits go paintballing. This is one of our favorite things to do. It is even better if you can get a group together to go. Bonus if it is other couples because then you can do guys against girls.

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5. Gun Range: If guns aren’t your thing then skip this. Going to the gun range can be a good learning experience. If you are new to shooting, most gun ranges offer classes. gunrange

6. Comedy show: We attended Sh!t-Faced Shakespeare at a local comedy club and the tickets were very affordable. I suggest checking Groupon for these kind of deals. We had a great time and it made for a great double date!commedytour.jpg

7. Escape Room: This might not be available in all states, but I know for sure it is in Atlanta. Basically you go to the place (better with a group) and you have to solve puzzles and riddles to gain more clues and escape the room within the time limit (usually 1 hour). Some places have different themes to choose from. This is great for working together and also finding out who is the real brains of the operation. Groupon! Groupon! Groupon! live-escape-game-1155620_960_720

8. Catch a sporting event: One of my FAVORITE things to do is catch a game. Whether it is baseball, football, soccer, wrestling, racing, etc you are always guaranteed to have a good time!  If you aren’t a big fan of sports, this can be a good bonding moment and also a chance for you to learn something new by letting your spouse explain the game to you and vice versa. Be open minded! 20170414_19103320170414_185600

9. Bar crawls: Very fun and great for group dates! Facebook and Groupon usually are the best places to find these. Most have a theme which makes it extra fun! Have a DD or use UBER/LYFT etc because you will likely need a safe ride home! 20170505_191950

10: Try a new restaurant: This kind of piggybacks off of exploring small local businesses. I love food! Trying new foods and restaurants always makes for an interesting experience. I remember the first time we tried Thai food and were caught off guard by the abundance of peanuts in the dish. We had fun throwing them at each other. You might stumble across the best (or worst) burgers in town but it will make for something to talk about. You can also role play like you are food critics and blame whoever idea it was to eat there if it sucks.20170429_173410

So that’s it for now! Just a few ideas with more to come! I hope you can use some of these to switch things up for a change. Be open minded and have fun! If you are going to an event where there is booze involved, always use good judgement, know your limits and make sure you have a safe way home!

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