So remember how a few months back I wrote the piece Last baby sadness? we made the decision not to get the vasectomy done this past March after we had Kendall. Kendall turned out to be a girl and we both kind of wanted another boy. Since we are financially able and such, we both weighed pros and cons and ultimately decided “screw it” let’s shoot for one more and then call it quits. I mean after all we have five kids already so what’s one more? So with the vasectomy cancelled, we set plans for our last baby for sometime next year. I wanted to be done with this portion of school in April and take a break. Although I wanted to be done having babies before my 30th (next August), I figured I could always celebrate a little later if things didn’t work out how we planned. Well, my body decided to say f what you have planned.
So August, I had big plans for my birthday since I was turning 29. I had plans to basically go all out and have fun and get shxt-faced; all that good stuff. Well August arrived and I basically skipped a cycle. I was so worried I was possibly pregnant then because I had just stopped breastfeeding and felt like my birthday plans would be ruined. My cycle window came and went so I tested it was negative, life was great. I had a pretty wild party and had the time of my life and everyone swore up and down I was going to get knocked up from birthday sex. NOPE!
September came and my cycle decided to return with a vengeance. It was like the apocalypse of all cycles. My body had to make up for the skipped cycle I guess. I survived.
After the cycle from hell, we rolled into October and everything seemed back to normal. It has already been concluded that I have an irregular cycle so I was expecting my period to come at a certain point but I always give it an entire week to see which day it is going to rear its ugly head. The week of my cycle arrived. I was prepared to embrace whatever mother nature’s bxtch ass threw at me. I felt a little weird the first few days before it was due and I know that weird feeling all too well. So I decided to buy a cheap ass test to see. Well it was negative. I was super crampy the next day and felt like an idiot having wasted a few bucks on a test and went ahead and got a box of pads and all my other monthly goodies. I use the period panties by THINX but not on certain days when it is due because I can’t always gauge if it is going to be a shxtty cycle or not. So I diaper it up until I see which level of doom I am at. So being that I had tested 4 days prior I had thought nothing of the fact my cycle had not arrived yet. I was beyond crampy and felt like pure shxt so I just knew it was coming. Well my suspicion was raised when we had to make a trip to the store so hubby could return a Redbox rental. He had an issue with the one he received out of the machine so he needed to address the issue with customer service. I wanted to look around, so I left him to do his business and went to the other side of the store. As I was walking by, a stinky old man passed me by and I almost puked everywhere.
WTH? I thought, and then it clicked. You need to take another pregnancy test. I thought about all of the crazy pork rinds (I call them skins) that I had been devouring and how I haven’t eaten them in years and the crazy obsession with lemonade I had been having. I jetted to the aisle where they were and snatched a Clear Blue Digital off the shelf. I went to self check out and tossed it in the diaper bag and suffered through the rest of the shopping trip. Hubby ended up having to leave to take Kendall to a doctor’s appointment so I debated on taking it that day or waiting until the next morning while he was at work to take it. I was nervous as hell for some reason. I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to take it the same day because I had already emptied my bladder and I wasn’t technically late yet. When we got home it was like the test was calling my name from the diaper bag. “take me”….So once hubby left I continued working on a cake order and then I caved. I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom and took the test. I didn’t think it would work because my little pee sample was pretty pathetic lol. But nonetheless it immediately started blinking that it was working! The test was supposed to countdown and flash four bars before the results.
Well this shxt flashed two bars and BOOM! PREGNANT!
I sat in the bathroom for a while to process things and then for whatever reason I sat in my huge walk in closet staring at the test (don’t ask). I immediately thought about how I was going to tell him. I really didn’t plan this far ahead. I didn’t think things would happen so soon. So I put the test in the top drawer of my nightstand and went back downstairs with my heart racing. My hubby eventually returned home and told me about Kendall’s appointment, but he had also stopped by our favorite liquor store and picked up a butt ton of craft beer. Craft beer that I could not drink because ya know I was like 2 hours pregnant. I decided I needed to tell him. So I sent him on a dummy mission to retrieve something from upstairs and quickly set up my phone to record me telling him. Something I have never done before.
Once I had the phone hidden and at the right angle I told him nevermind about the nonexistent item I needed from upstairs. He came back down stairs, in a panic I asked him to help me cut out something for the cake I was working on. As he was working on that I ran upstairs to get the test. I didn’t think this through at all. I had nowhere to put the test because my yoga pants had no pockets! I shoved it in the band behind me and ran back down stairs. I was shaking lol I was so nervous to tell him (IDK why). So I started the convo off pretty casual and mentioned that we needed to return back to the store for a 3rd time (when we returned the rental that was our second time at the store). So he wasn’t really paying me any attention. So I told him I forgot something and mentioned prenatal vitamins. He took a second and then he asked “you’re pregnant?” and I showed him the test. Pretty lame way to tell him but it was still super cute. Now recording his reaction I was not sure what to expect. I figured either he’s going to cuss a lot out of excitement or say something off the wall. But his reaction made me tear up because it was just too damn cute. He was so overjoyed and happy and is still as excited about things 14 weeks later.
Now the following day was Friday October 13th. We were supposed to go to my friend’s house for a little onesie Friday the 13th party to watch scary movies and celebrate Halloween approaching. I knew there would be lots of alcohol consumed because that is what we do when we get together. We talked about it and made the decision to tell our small circle of buddies the news! In which they thought it was a joke at first!
So only a few people knew that we were expecting again, and lots of people had been asking me if I was the past few weeks but I kind of left a small trail of breadcrumbs but didn’t really tell anyone if I was or not. We decided we would wait for the right time to spill the beans to the world and everyone else. This baby did come as a surprise as far as timing goes but I am not complaining. I say I am not complaining because I am due in June and my 30th birthday is in August. So guess who still gets to get shxt-faced on their 30th bday next year!? This girl! I won’t be back summer time fine by then but I will make the postpartum body work. My due date is set for June 18th which is the day after my beloved granddaddy’s birthday. I know he is up in heaven smiling with his Atlanta Braves cap on and saying “that’s alright” which was something he said no matter what it was that you told him. It is still a little unreal that we are expecting our last baby finally! It’s bittersweet and unexpected, and that’s alright!