Tag Archives: babies

Live For The Moments You Can Not Put In Words

 I really LOATHE when people just assume that being a mom and all things momming are my entire life. I do have a life outside of (7) kids.  Life did not stop when I became a mom. But…at one point it kinda did and guess what? Anxiety, depression and motherhood don’t mesh well together. I can not stress enough to other mamas to take care of your mental health.

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It is a struggle being whole to everyone else when you are not whole for yourself. Recently the panic attacks have been happening a little more often than what I would like (hence the silence on the blog a little), this is partly from my whole experience of my babes being in the NICU and worrying about things. No one tells you that certain things related to the NICU don’t stop once the baby graduates out of it.  Did they burp enough? Are they getting too comfy while they eat? Can I switch from preemie nipples now? Are the bottles sterile enough? the list goes on and on. This time around a lot of things are purely baby led and it’s pretty cool just requires patience.

I have found a few things that seem to work great for managing my anxiety and depression. I have also been sharing these things with people who reach out for advice who have the same condition. I have taken pieces of advice from them as well. I have a set plan for management, but like with any routine such as hair care, skin care, diets, etc you have to switch it up after a while. You get immune to it. I have had to have a few mommy time outs when the kids are being complete turds behavior wise, the house is a mess, I am exhausted because of Twin A’s crazy sleep patterns and My Beau’s work schedule.  A mommy time out is where I remove myself from the parental atmosphere to clear my head and take a breather. I strap the twins in their rockers, put up the baby gates and tell the oldest two I am stepping outside for a sec and keep an eye on things. It is recharging and refocusing.

During one of my moments, I had what I affectionately call my “2007 Britney Spears moment” and I cut off my hair

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I did this last month (August). I wanted a new “identity” I wanted a fresh start so to speak. Okay so it wasn’t that drastic, but still you get the point.

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I usually sit on our back porch (until a spawn of Satan aka a bug) tries to be friends then it’s back in the house I go. If it is at night, I have the oldest watch the babies and I run a nice Epsom salt bath or take a shower. The times where I feel a panic attack coming on, I have to redirect my attention to something else. I grab a snack or play a word game on my phone. My Beau purchased me a Cricut Explore Air 2 for my birthday, so this has really been great for me so far. It gives me something else to do. I have found some of the craft making to be somewhat therapeutic.

I have been transforming my nervous energy into being productive instead of just sulking. However, I am not going to lie… sometimes I get frustrated and want to throw shxt.  I don’t know if you believe in zodiac related shxt, but I do. I am a Virgo. We tend to be perfectionist. It is a blessing and a curse. I really had to learn over time that perfect is not ideal. I like being okay and well. I guess the best way to describe my anxiety and depression is I am predictable in my own unpredictability. I like the direction I am headed and I am excited about all of the great things that are happening and this new journey I am on since I turned 30. If you love life, it will love you back.

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Taking time away from motherhood doesn’t make you a bad mom. Taking charge of your mental health is one of the most selfless selfish things I think a person can do. Growth doesn’t happen without provocations. Never forget that.

 

Until next time,Breyona

All Juice No Seeds

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So with us finding out we were about to have our last baby sooner than planned and expected, we immediately knew which route we wanted to take for birth control. No questions asked, a vasectomy. There was nothing to discuss and it was a mutual decision. I really don’t understand why so many guys are resistant to the procedure, when it is actually a piece of cake. It has less complications, less down time, a easier recovery, and is overall very effective. My husband was very open to it when we discussed it; and best of all, we didn’t have to pay anything besides the specialist co pay to have it done (winning!). If you are considering it, the first thing I recommend you do is call your insurance provider and see if it is covered. Most major insurance companies now cover vasectomies and treat them as a “regular visit to a specialist” because it is done in office. Now, with that being said, if your hubby is a little bit of a “chicken” and prefers to be put to sleep for the procedure then you will have to factor in those costs.

For our situation (and baby making history), we decided it was best for us to have it done during the pregnancy. We waited until the 2nd trimester to schedule it. Previously, we were going to do it the last trimester but we both wanted it out of sight out of mind. The best thing of all is that he will be sterile way before the pregnancy is over; so I don’t have to worry about birth control period!

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We both knew that regardless of what happens (in and out of our control) this is our last pregnancy. We felt very confident in our decision with the doctor who we chose to do the procedure after a little research. I do recommend going with a practice that is reputable and in network. We went with Georgia Urology because several people we know have used them and they are one of the largest urology groups here.

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Your beau will have to do a consultation first, which explains the procedure etc.  You can sit in on the consultation if you want, but I didn’t care. I sat in the car while he had that appointment. I didn’t care how it was done, I just need the shxt to work! Anywho, scheduling was a bit frausting being that they are a large group, we couldn’t get it done as soon as we would have liked but it didn’t matter. Damage is already done. The surgery was scheduled for January 2nd (Happy New Year!). We both were anxiously awaiting V-day and there were no second thoughts whatsoever about it. Hubby got off shift that morning from the fire department, we had breakfast and then headed out for his appointment.

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Once we arrived he received more instructions etc, they prepared the room, took him to the back, did local anesthesia, and 20mins later he was done. It was a scalpel-less procedure. The “incision” is basically a small puncture that can heal on its own without stitches. That’s it! Easy peasy!

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How To Survive Your Hubby’s Vasectomy 

 

  1. Be his hype “man”

    It is a big decision for a guy to sacrifice his “manhood” and get the procedure done. He will no longer be dangerous to make sexy time with and you will essentially put your baby bun factory out of business since you will have no use for the baby batter anymore. Hype him up! Be excited! Even if you are a little sad about the ending of this chapter, look at the biggest perk! Unlimited unprotected baby worry free sex! If you show excitement he will feel more confident about the decision and less likely to back out.

  2. Make it as fun as possible vas12vas11vas10

    Get shirts for the occasion and take pics! This is a day to commemorate! This day is just as important as your pregnancy announcement!

  3. Be prepared in advanced vas4

    You will need to make sure he has ice packs (frozen peas work just as well as other ice packs), and more than one jockstrap. Yes he can wear tight fitting undies, but the jock strap offers more support for the healing ball sack. Also the one he wears after the surgery will be dirty (a little blood here and there) and it is important to keep the area super clean since he won’t be able to shower for the first 24 hours. Have snacks ready and a location for him to recover already established to limit him getting up and down etc. He also can not lift anything over 15 pounds so put that honey do list on hold. Depending on what he does for a living, he may want to take a little time off. My beau is a firefighter so he took off a few shifts (2 to 3 for some people) and was fine when he returned.

  4. Make him comfyvas13

    Once you have the recovery location set up, have things close by to limit the ringing of the bell. Drinks, snacks, pain meds, etc all in one location or easily accessible. We have stairs so it was a bit tiring for me going up and down.  Keep ice packs in rotation because he will basically be surviving off of them. Also as far as pain, manage it before it starts or gets worse. My hubby was okay without them and mainly just wanted ice. Fix a special meal for the occasion or something easy. We ordered pizza.

  5. Keep him hydrated vas14

    My beau wanted Jack and Coke, so I kept them coming (with plenty of water in between of course). Since he wasn’t taking any pain pills, it was the least I could do.

So that is it, there is not much to it! Other than your hubby taking it easy for a few days and his ball sack being a little bruised looking, it wasn’t that bad at all. He has a check up tomorrow to check the puncture site and then another check in about 3 months (they say your beau should “arrive at the party” about 15-20 times within that timeframe to ensure he is sterile). At the 3 month mark, at that appointment he has to make sexy time by himself and “party” in a cup, for them to check the sample to see if he is sterile or not. (If you aren’t pregnant, you will need to use something or stay on birth control until he is cleared. For the love of coffee, please do not skip the follow up appointments).

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In the meantime during recovery, he will need plenty of rest and it is advisable to wait a week before you have sexy time…..whether we waited a week or not well that’s none of your business 😉

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First Trimester Recap: Baby #6

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So I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and so happy to be out of the first trimester of this pregnancy. The first 13 weeks were very rough. My morning sickness was super bad and never ending. I haven’t had any major issues with morning sickness with any of my other pregnancies so this was a game changer. It seems like I started showing the second I pissed on the stick and I have a love hate relationship with food. Since I have so much to share and document this pregnancy with it legit being our last one, I figured it is easier for me to just break down the trimesters instead of doing a post every week about the baby’s development etc. I think that is boring first off, and second I don’t feel like writing all that shxt.

I have had several appointments, some back to back. This pregnancy has been labeled high risk (I will get into the logistics of that on another post). I am def not in the mood for anybody’s shxt and all I want to do is sleep. People speculated for a while if I was pregnant or not mainly because I have that serious pregnancy glow thing going on. I don’t always glow with my pregnancies so I guess I can take it as I don’t look like shxt this time. The morning sickness had made it kind of hard to get fully excited  but I am getting there. The second trimester has brought some relief but I am still not 100% feeling back to my normal self yet.

All of the scans so far have been beautiful. Baby looks amazing and is very active. I didn’t gain much weight in the first trimester due to the morning sickness, so I was put on the medication Diclegis. It has a nice side effect which is drowsiness…hence me just wanting to sleep. I am on the maximum dose. It does work I will say that. My OB isn’t very partial to Zofran anymore because of its link to the birth defects and a few other issues. From my past experience taking Zofran, it worked super fast but made me constipated which wasn’t cool. I will def take drowsiness over not being able to take shxt any day. Anywho moving forward, being that this is my 6th pregnancy, I started showing very quickly. I started off being super bloated but it turned into a full on baby bump within the first few weeks. My boobs are huge already as well. I have been documenting my growing tummy weekly as I have done so in the past. Some people have been just plain fing annoying with their comments about my size like they have never seen me pregnant before. Newsflash people, the more babies you have the quicker you show. For the most part I have been pretty irritable, and took my time announcing that I was pregnant simply because I didn’t want to be bothered on top of being super sick. My focus has been resting and getting well. All in all I am happy that everything is looking great development wise.

We announced we were expecting a little sooner than we had planned. We planned to announce it on xmas eve, but we were getting together with a bunch of people for my hubby’s birthday and I didn’t want someone to accidently leak a pic. We made the decision to put it out there. I have had my business shared before I have wanted it to be shared before, so I wanted to avoid that again. We shared the announcement on Facebook and Instagram and for the most part no negative comments.

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I mean at this point who tf cares that we are having another baby? Yeah people have their jokes about the size of our family, but I quickly kill that when I say “at least I can afford to have a large family”.

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We opted out of the blood test that tells you the gender early because we didn’t do that with any of the other ones. We will have baby’s gender on December 27th, however it will not be revealed until February 10th no exceptions. We are also not disclosing any possible names until the birth of the baby.

Top Cravings

Chik-Fil-A Lemonade

Pork rinds aka skins

Pulled pork

Sweet potato fries and mashed sweet potatoes

Any Trolli brand sour gummy candies

Cokes

Build your own pancake combo from Ihop (blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns)

That is basically what I have wanted when I am not puking my brains out. The love hate thing with food is getting better though. So that is basically it for the first trimester. We have only bought one baby item so far but after my appointment on Wednesday we will pick up a few more things and really start preparing then. In the meantime here are the pics I took during the first trimester 🙂 Some pics I look rough and some pics I look fabulous!

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Just a friendly reminder baby bumps come in all shapes and sizes. The extent of your bump depends on the position of your uterus, if you had abs/a strong core before pregnancy, the number of times you have been pregnant/given birth and the amount of fluid. It is rude to make comments about the size of a woman’s bump or size period even when she isn’t pregnant. If you like putting your feelings and life at risk carry on with the comments 🙂

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Having a large family is weird

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The dynamics of family has changed a lot over the past few decades. The teen pregnancy rate has significantly dropped, women are waiting longer to have babies, and the average size of families has shrunk. Long gone are the days of people having at least literally a dozen kids (My grandfather had 11 siblings). Today, families are relatively small and more couples are deciding to remain childless. With that being said, these new trends puts me at the butt end of a lot of jokes and unwanted comments because I have a large family.

Now, if you have been following my blog, you will know that a super big family was not really in our plans (Then comes baby in the baby carriage…Lots of babies). We planned on 4 kids and not only did they come close together, we overachieved and while on birth control baby #5 popped up and surprised our asses. Now that the overall OMG we are about to have 5 kids shock factor and fear has been put behind us, it’s been a lovely 5 months of lots of adjustments and such. It has been crazy at times getting everyone ready to leave the house and running errands. The laundry is a complete nightmare and someone is always up to something….but oddly I wouldn’t change anything.

If you would have told me 8 years, hell even 29 years ago that I would have a large family, I would have hysterically laughed in your face. But now, this is my reality. I have 5 kids. FIVE kids….FIVE…F-I-V-E.. ONE< TWO<THREE<FOUR<FIVE!!!

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There are a lot of double standards that come with the comments in regards to the size of our family. When it was just Cameron, everyone asked if we were going to try for a girl or have another one. We had Kennedy and then everyone said that things were “perfect” because we had one of each.  Cody, everyone was like awww they get a new sibling. Kali, everyone was like OMG you are pregnant again, 4 kids?! and finally Kendall basically everyone was like WTF!? A lot of unwanted comments came from people who I know and although some were just trying to be funny, I wished they would keep their comments to themselves. This goes for strangers as well. I don’t see anything humorous about the size of someone’s family. I understand that it is a little weird now to have more than 2 or 3 kids. I get it, I totally do. But, for those of us who decided otherwise, your comments just seem really well, shxtt

I don’t need you to tell me how many kids I have. I know how many I have, they came out of my vagina. It really bugs me when people say something and throw in “well you do have 5 kids”. The number of kids I have, has not stopped me from accomplishing things, fulfilling my dreams, or living my life. Our culture has taught us and programmed us to look at multiple kids as irresponsibility. It has taught us to alienate those women who may be single moms who have multiple children. I have seen countless times on Facebook where some guy rants about a chick having too many kids etc. Or they won’t date someone who has more than XYZ kids. You know what? I appreciate stuff like that because, to be honest, I wouldn’t want to be with anybody who is shallow like that anyway. The size of my family may make me less desirable to some and I don’t care. I am not speaking in terms of dating because I am happily married, in love, and well taken care of; but in terms of friendships. Most of my good friends have large families as well. We have this “weird” lifestyle in common.

I do find it funny when I go out with my family that people stare, make comments etc. You would think that being an interracial couple would ruffle some feathers, but having a large family seems to be the focus now. When you have a large family, here are some typical comments and questions you will get:

  • Bless your heart
  • I couldn’t do it I have (insert number of kids) and I have a hard time keeping up with them, I can’t imagine 5
  • You must love being pregnant (Actually I hate the whole pregnancy process, I just want the baby)
  • Y’all need a TV in the bedroom
  • Your sex life must be amazing
  • Do y’all have any hobbies?
  • Are you on birth control?
  • You must be (insert religion) and don’t believe in birth control
  • Are you done having kids?
  • How many more are y’all going to have?
  • You have a basketball team
  • Time for a mini van (This will get you cussed out. I have a nice SUV that accommodates us and all of our shxt)
  • Your husband’s pull out game must be weak (we are married grown adults and not careless teenagers, why would we be using the pull out method? btw that shxt doesn’t always work)
  • How do you ever have time for yourself?
  • Is he getting fixed now?
  • Are you getting your tubes tied? (yes I am going to take the parts that are removed and strangle you with them)
  • Y’all are trying to be like the (insert family that has an entire congregation)
  • You do know what causes that right?
  • My favorite: Don’t ya’ll know where babies come from? (Yes, lots and lots of sex because we like sex)

Now, I used to get upset by the comments. Like really pissed off. But now, I expect them and laugh and comment back. There is no reason to be ashamed of the size of your family. I tell this to other large families too often. I have had people privately tell me they would love to  have a large family or want to have another baby, but are worried about what people will say. Well those people are not paying your bills, those people are not helping you tend to your children’s needs, those people are not helping you do laundry, buy groceries, change diapers, or anything constructive. If you want more kids and can take care of them, have them. Be fruitful and multiply.

We tend to care too much about the opinions of others even when we don’t think we do. I know I was hesitant to announce my last pregnancy because I simply did not want to be bothered with all of the stupid comments and jokes etc. I wasn’t in the mood. I was not embarrassed or anything like that, just at some point everyone gets tired of other people shxt.

Here are some of the misconceptions I have heard about having a large family:

  • It’s expensive: To be honest, our society has taught us that basically everything costs your soul. Going to college, getting married, and having kids. I see it as it is as expensive as you make it. If you buy all name brand designer clothes etc then yes this will be expensive to do with 5 kids. However, if you only buy certain items name brand etc, take care of those items and pass them down to the next child if they are in good condition, then you get your monies worth. Having multiple children allows you to really get the true value out of certain items like cribs, carseats, etc. The other costly thing is transportation. If you have a car you will likely need to upgrade to an SUV with third row seating or a van. For us, it was actually cheaper, because I had a 5 series BMW and traded it in for a Yukon and the car insurance went down. As far as food, buying in bulk saves you money (There will be another post in regards to how we “afford” a large family)
  • If you have multiple kids, it is impossible to give them all individual attention: We do things the same way we did when it was just Cameron. We read together, do special things together such as for the girls, I paint their nails, we play video games with Cameron, we take the tots to do things while the older two are at school etc.
  • If you have a large family you must have grown up in one: Nope, actually there are 3 of us kid wise in my family and as far as my husband goes, he has 4 half siblings total split between his biological parents.
  • This one is my favorite…You are on some type of welfare: I am just not going to comment on this one. Actually yes I am going to comment. It always tickles me when I go to grocery shop for my family (usually about $400 bucks every trip) and the cashier asks how am I paying? or the customer behind me makes a comment about the two carts and automatically assumes food stamps.
  • I haven’t heard that dumb joke or comment you just made about my reproductive life before: If I had a dollar for everytime…sooooo original
  • The older ones raise the little ones: How in the hell are they going to do that when they are little ones themselves?

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Although initially the thought of a large family sent my anxiety over the edge, now that I have one it has changed my perspective of a lot of things. It has shown me that I am capable of doing more than I think I can at times, and it has pushed me harder to become a better person, because I have multiple human beings that I will send off into the world one day. It has taught me that I have just that much more love to give.

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It has also taught me how to maneuver the multi-kid tank buggy at Target.

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