End of year reflection: 2020

It has been approximately 364 days since the year started and there are 2 days left in this year. Considering this year is a leap year, there will be 366 days instead of 365 days. Like most people, the year has been a total clusterfuck. I learned that I do not enjoy homeschooling at all. Def kudos to the mamas and pappies that enjoy that shit because it is definitely not for me. However, even though I thoroughly hate it, I do not plan on sending my babies back next semester. They will remain online for school. It was a lot of trial and error but we made it I think. Aside from the home school mess, I had Covid for the 2nd time. Granted it was no where near as bad as the first time I had it last year but still equally as shitty. At this point in time I pretty much believe that if you haven’t had it yet, it’s only a matter of time that you will get it even with wearing masks etc.

My beau was home for the holidays for the first time in a long and time it was nice having him here. It was nice not having to celebrate the holidays a day or two early (or later). The mess was definitely real when it was all said and done. We needed a bulldozer and it took about 3 days to clean up. We always use the xmas clean up as a way to declutter before spring. We have some plans for our starter home that we are working on and getting the ball rolling for a few other projects to come. As far as my mental health is concerned…. I was basically abruptly taken off one of the main medications. My doctor decided to switch me to something that we both knew was going to work like shit. Long story short this year I have had to learn ways to cope and handle my mental issues constructively. Oddly enough, after 2 years of being on 5 medications and now being on 4; I feel like I am functioning pretty well considering I have been off of it for 2 months now. I really don’t plan to get back on the main medication as long as I continue to progress forward and manage my conditions in a healthy way. I have been sleeping way better as well. I don’t take the insomnia meds every night anymore just as needed. Having my beau home has helped a lot with that since I feel safer and more relaxed having him next to me. His snuggles are just what the doctor ordered!

My business has been doing well. This was my 2nd year in business but my first full year in business without taking a break. I did take a look at a few things and will be making some changes with that going forward too. All good changes and major growth. I did try a few things that I wanted to see if I could do and some were hits and some were miss. The misses were my own fault from taking bad advice and also from not giving myself time to master the skills. I also found that some things I truly don’t enjoy making so I am not going to offer certain items anymore. I am not one who does what is trendy or what is in. I have never been that way and I plan to stay that way with my business module. Trends never last but originality does. I have a love for the strange and unusual.

Now I am going to share with you 20 things that I learned this year

Shit that I learned in 2020

  1. Don’t fix what isn’t broken 🙂
  2. I learned how to do artificial nails in different mediums and I am pretty damn good at it
  3. I need to put more time into my art. I didn’t know people were truly interested in purchasing my paintings until I started sharing them. Art in general has always been a passion of mine and something that I am naturally good at. Painting is so relaxing and I love the feeling of putting on some music, picking up my pencils and brushes and letting my mind run wild on the canvas.
  4. Not being able to have my weekly Target runs due to covid did not stop me from doing what I love; which is shop. Amazon is my homeboy! I also supported a lot of other small businesses!
  5. Having a lot of followers is important in the blogging world but at the same time less is more. I spent months cleaning up my list. I went from over 14k followers on Instagram to a little over 9k now. I am ok with that. I lost the beloved swipe up feature which is like a holy grail to other bloggers. Want to know what I learned? People don’t use that shit anyway like that. I am still doing well as a blogger without it and my followers are truly people who want to follow along and support me. I also unfollowed and unsubscribed from a lot of bloggers and regular accounts who I have nothing in common with or I am simply not interested in. Sorry not sorry.
  6. Deer antlers fall off and grow back every year
  7. How to clean shit *literal shit* off of things because of the twins *potty training loading*….You throw it away and keep it moving. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.
  8. Having my beau home everyday took a lot of getting used to. We get on each other’s fucking nerves.
  9. People won’t like you for whatever reason and that is their fucking problem
  10. People will not appreciate authenticity even though they claim that they do.
  11. People spend too much time counting other people’s chickens.
  12. I hated going to the gym. I used to enjoy it but covid def made it not fun anymore. The vibe was just yuck and I am happier working out at home. Now to lose this covid weight….
  13. I am impatient when it comes to my hair. I rocked the undercut for a while. I was going to grow it out but the thing is, I don’t have time for that shit. I hated how it looked growing out. Ultimately I cut it all off with a 1 1/2 which is even shorter than it was when I originally made the big chop. It has been like 3 weeks and it feels like forever. Anyway I don’t mind the shaved look. I actually look pretty damn fine like this.
  14. Drink your fucking water! It makes a big difference
  15. People kink shame like a mfer
  16. People I casually associate with and some I don’t even know found out my dirty little secret LOL (If you know you know)
  17. Even though I hate people, I miss adult interaction. I miss my friends!!!!
  18. Social media breaks are very necessary.
  19. My confidence is perceived as a threat.
  20. Keep building while everyone else sleeps. I used the pandemic as a time to really focus, research, grind and go hard. We paid off a car and then bought a brand new version of what I had within a few months and own it for what it is worth. That is not common when you buy a brand new car. We worked hard to get to this point of financial freedom and see the hard work paying off. It took some discipline, trial and error and lots of patience. It is ok to want and have nice things. It is okay to save for things and use your savings for whatever the fuck you want to use it for. Whether it be an emergency or a splurge. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being boujee because you desire different forms of luxuries. At the same time don’t let anyone make you feel bad for not having certain things. DO it for you and because YOU want it. Not to impress people who don’t matter and likely don’t even give a fuck about you or like you.

I have really learned the art of not giving a fuck and loving the process of getting to know myself more. You think that you know who you are but honestly, you don’t. There is always something to learn. There is always room for improvement. I stopped complaining and started getting up off my ass to make shit happen. The only person who was holding me back was myself. This was a hard year for everyone. This year was trash. Some people took this as an opportunity for growth and some used it as a excuse to be stagnant. I saw who really fuck with me and who doesn’t. I love the eye opening experiences from this year but I also hated seeing my childhood die. Celebrities I grew up watching are aging and starting to pass on. I am starting to sprout more grey hairs (I have like 4 now) and I am starting to desire things that are more simple like wellness. I got to see how much community and unity are more important than ever. I am so grateful for my friends who stuck it out with us. My friends, followers and even some associates who kept me feeling like everything would be ok and that we were all in this together. I love you guys.

Next year will consist of a lot of growing more on a individual level, managing my priorities better, having fun in the process, and embracing continuously being pushed outside of my comfort zone. 2020 made me a more confident and compassionate individual. So, goodbye 2020 and here is to making more conscious choices and continuing to go with the flow. See you next year!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s